


You Got What I Need

by Tiffuhnyrose



Series: You Got What I Need [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Mr. Robot (TV), Night at the Museum (Movies), Queen (Band), The Pacific (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiffuhnyrose/pseuds/Tiffuhnyrose
Summary: You and Rami are costars on a tv show and end up becoming close friends. Your friendship, however, takes an unexpected turn one evening after an award show, but nothing’s ever that simple, right?





	1. Part 1

This can’t be happening. This really can’t be happening.

Your hands were numb and shaking and your toes were curled up into the soft rug set in the bathroom as your mind wandered to possibility after possibility.

You both had been so careful and yet here you are, holding a stick that would determine either a complete change in routine or you carrying on with your day to day actions.

You were late. 2 weeks to be exact.

Your periods were always regular and, like clock work, showed up at the same time as always, but not this month. Not to mention you had a random ache in your back that magically popped up about a week ago, seemingly with zero purpose… or maybe there was a purpose… and eventually you connected the dots.

Of course, you told Rami immediately of your suspicions. It wasn’t something you could bare to hide from him when he was your best friend, first and foremost, and sexual partner second.

Notice, I didn’t say boyfriend, because he wasn’t. You two were friends who had met while filming and seemingly ended up becoming very close. Your friendship had been going strong for a couple years now, but 3 months ago something happened.

You both were drunk, at some award ceremony and ended up going back to his place. To sleep off the alcohol, of course, at least that’s what you kept telling yourself and Rami insisted you stay over because his place was near by.

On the other hand, you wholeheartedly wanted to do zero sleeping. God, anything but sleep. You wanted his companionship - a nice chat, a nice movie, some take out, then sleep… and I suppose you could say you did. If by companionship you mean him fucking you as you were bent over the island in his kitchen. Oh yeah, and the kitchen counter tops too… and then his bed...

-

The next morning, you’d expect some awkward tension and I suppose a little bit did linger when you woke up to see Rami was awake next to you in his bed. A novel gripped in his hand as his other arm propped his head up against the headboard.

You began to move around a bit more, sleep beginning to leave you and you noticed the comforter was settled up to Rami’s waist as he peered down at you. Fuck, he looked angelic.

“Sleep okay?”, he asked, eyes returning back to his book.

All you could mutter was a sleepy, half awake, ‘mhm’ as you stretched your body upwards and settled your back against the cold headboard. Why did it feel so cold on your back?

You gazed down your body and quickly pulled the comforter all the way up to your chin and proceeded to inwardly scold yourself for not even thinking about the fact that you went to bed naked.

Of course you were naked that’s what happens when two people have sex..well usually. The first romp between you both involved you still wearing your dress and heels and him still fully clothed… just with his pants unzipped.

Rami gave you a side glance, clearly noticing your bare chest in his peripheral vision to which he responded with a quiet laugh and smile as his eyes re fixated themselves onto his book. Your fingers went to the side of your head as you let it relax into your palm.

“It’s too early to torture yourself like that Y/N, but definitely not too early to torture me like that.”

Your eyes went to Rami, his still focused on his book in hand with a playful smirk on his lips.

“Stop it,” you pouted, his book now falling into his lap, absolutely losing his page number. As if he even cared what page he was on, or if he was even reading it to begin with.

Rami rolled over on his side to face your tan form which was shielded by the down comforter, but your red neck was still very visible as the contrast from the white comforter to red bruising made for quite the little art piece on your body.

His finger reached out to your neck, gently applying pressure to one of the red bruises. You winced at his touch, slowly moving your face away from his finger.

“Do you want some ice for that. I did a number on you…I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.”

Typical Rami, you thought. Always caring, always pleasant, and always always checking up to make sure you’re fine. That’s why it was such a shock to see his, nearly animalistic form come alive after you both began making out on the elevator ride up to his apartment. His fingers were rough, yet his kisses were so wet and sweet - even with lust involved, he managed to be sweet and rough at the same time.

“I’m fine,” you smiled at his concerned face. “Promise, it just hurts when, ya know, someone pokes a fresh bruise.”

His jawline became pronounced as his toothy smile turned into a small lip bite. his eyes following closely along the 4 counted bruises he could find on your nearly covered neck- He loved that you had to walk around with a little aftermath of your evening together, especially one that people would recognize as a night of passion and lust.

Rami’s eyes scanned you even more, noticing your knuckles clearly clenching the comforter tightly to hide your body.

“You don’t have to hide yourself from me you know? It’s not awkward or anything, at least not for me. Besides, I saw it all already. Remember?”

Your hand flew to playfully smack Rami’s shoulder at his cheeky remark as he sarcastically rubbed the spot you hit, wincing as if you had hurt him.

“I’m well aware of what you saw last night Rami.”

Your eyes stayed glued to your lap as you got little flashbacks of him sucking on your inner thighs and his two fingers buried deep inside of you as his tongue ravaged your clit in small, tight circles…

“Then show me again, I think my memory needs to be freshened up on that body of yours,” Rami said as he placed his head in your lap, his hand slightly tugging on the comforter.

You shyly pulled the covers tighter against yourself with a red cheeked smile as you and Rami playfully wrestled it back and forth.

“Oh look over there!”

Of course you looked in the direction he was pointing because even though all the signs would point to this being a set up to distract you, you were oblivious, per usual.

Rami took your brief lack of attention and gullibility as his go to steal the covers from you and throw them onto the floor, leaving you both bare next to one another.

“God, I hate you Ram!” Instinctively your hands flew up to your breasts, covering them with your now folded arms.

You didn’t actually hate him, of course, but rather you hated how he always did this. Whether with distraction or sarcasm, you were clueless in those moments which he knew too well and used to his advantage. He just knew you so god damn well and now he also knew your body pretty well.

Rami sat up, cross legged in front of you, again, completely naked, as his nails gently scratched up and down your arms. “Cmon Y/N, I just want to make you feel nice, is that so wrong? You didn’t seem to think so last-“

“What are we though?”, you blurted out, cutting him off.

You weren’t one to fuck around with someone who wasn’t a significant other, it just wasn’t your style. Rami wasn’t a total stranger though either, which only further complicated your morals and what you thought you could and couldn’t handle in a just fuck buddies situation or a one night stand, or would he want to be more than friends now?

Of course, you’d love to be more than just friends, however you knew Rami’s schedule and your own which would leave so little time to speak to one another, unless you counted when you were both filming on the tv show that either of you worked on. Even then, that was work, not personal time, not date night, not movie night in at home with lots of ice cream and sex. Oh god, now you’re thinking about fucking him again.

“What do you want us to be?”, Rami’s voice interrupted your anything but appropriate thoughts - the way his hands were slowly moving your arms away from your chest and entangling both of your hands fingers with his wasn’t helping either.

“I know your schedule Rami, this isn’t going to be a relationship type thing, I know that and I don’t even know if that’s what I want…”

Lie

“…but I mean. I don’t know… I really enjoyed last night.”

He nodded understandingly before bringing his lips to your cheek and pulling away with his face only a couple inches from yours.

“Then how about we stay exactly how we always have been, just, ya know, sex added into it. Only if you want that of course I-“

“Of course I want that”, you bit your lip as your words came out rushed, yet so truthful.

Rami smirked, “Good, now let me make you say my name again in that cute little whine you do when you’re about to-“

“Stop!”

You gathered up a pillow next to you and chucked it at Rami, purely to shut him up, with an added bonus of him not teasing you for blushing as much as you were right now.

However, your plan was absolutely backfiring as you looked to Rami’s body which was now laying flat on his back. You wanted to be on top of that body.

“Come here Y/N.”

Keeping up your cute front could’ve been an option, but with his smooth tan skin and half erect cock being a mere foot away from you, all facades were off. You wanted him now.

You scooted your body towards him and straddled his waist, sighing as his dick was mere centimeters from entering you.

“Tell me what you want”, Rami spoke as his hand began to play with your hair, twirling it, moving it out of your face.

“You know what I want Ram.”

“Yeah, but I want to hear you say it Y/N.”

You shook your head and brought your hand up to your face, attempting to hide your shy smile.

Rami’s reply was simple yet so very affective. His hips moved upwards, forcing friction onto your already sensitive core, but clearly you weren’t the only one enjoying this as a small “fuck” left Rami’s lips as you moved your hips down to meet his movements.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want hmm?”, you teased as you patted his chest and rested your hand in the dip between his pectoral muscles.

Rami eyed you as he placed both of his hands on your waist, lifting your body up, and slowly lowering yourself onto his now hard dick.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you stretched around him, feeling the new, yet familiar feeling of him inside of you. Neither of you had made a single movement and yet you were already so terribly sensitive and aching for him to let you cum.

“Good enough answer for you?”, Rami smirked as his hands, still griping your waist, pulled him up so that he was in a sitting position. His hand moved to the small of your back to keep you balanced as he slightly thrusted his hips up to get even deeper inside of you.

You didn’t answer him, but simply used your legs to move your body up and then back down ensuring you were Feeling every inch of his cock inside of you.

Your eyes were glued to him as you slowly started moving up and down on his dick. Him leaning in ever so often to give your lips a sweet peck as his hand on your back gently pushed your body towards his.

“Fuck you feel so good,” you breathed into his ear as you continued your bouncing motion on top of him and him now reciprocating your movements.

You were both in complete sync with your pace and noises leaving either of your lips. Several breathy “oh fuck’s” filled the room as you both neared your climax.

Your hands were gripping Rami’s biceps so tight, you were sure they would be marked up and his other hand was gripping your waist so hard you were sure he was close to climaxing inside of you.

“Mmm close babe”, Rami moaned as his hips picked up a faster pace, you immediately bouncing on him to match his desperate speed.

“Don’t stop, fuck don’t stop,” his hips relentlessly thrusted upwards to meet your movements as he felt himself release inside of you. The sensation overwhelming him to the point where he was moaning your name and several profanities as he let go. His legs slightly shook as he came down from his orgasm as your bouncing movements slowly came to a halt.

“What are you doing? You didnt cum yet did you?”

You shook your head as your fingers went up to fix a stray curly hair that had melted to Rami’s forehead due to his sweating.

“Lay down”, Rami ordered you as his hands left your body.

“I’m fine honestly. I don’t need to cum, just having you be inside me feels good enough.”

You weren’t lying this time. His dick wasn’t ungodly large, seemingly an average size, but fuck did he know how to use it. Hitting your spot nearly every time he worked his hips up to bump against yours.

“Yeah sure, lay down.”

You obliged and moved your body so that your head was laying on a pillow with your legs bent upwards and slightly parted.

Rami crawled over to your relaxed position and laid down on his stomach. His hands lifting to your knee caps as he pried them further apart.

“God you’re so wet,” he nearly moaned out as his eyes looked in between your legs.

Without hesitation he hooked his arms around your thighs, holding them apart, as his lips pressed soft kisses to your wet lips between your legs.

You fisted the sheets as the tip of his tongue flicked across your sensitive clit. Your hands immediately making their way down to his hair to give his dark locks a slight tug.

Rami groaned against your wet core, clearly enjoying what your hand was doing as his lips wrapped around your clit to suck on your pleasure point.

You knew you weren’t going to last much longer as soon as your legs started jerking every time Rami’s sweet mouth sucked a little bit harder. God, he was so good at this you almost couldn’t believe you were experiencing this for the..who even knows what time in the last 12 hours.

Rami’s eyes peaked up at you as his mouth moved slightly away from you cunt, instead, he removed one of his arms from around your thigh and brought his hand down to start circling your clit at a fast pace.

“Is someone getting close?”, Rami smile at your sweaty, moaning mess of a face as you nodded and moved your face to look at him.

You could see his fingers relentless movement on your clit, only intensifying your deep need to climax. You still couldn’t believe this was happening. You and Rami were engaging in hot sexual activities and seeing his face, his hands, his body pleasuring you was making you so much closer to your ecstasy.

Soon he pulled his hand away, you whimpering at the loss of contact, only to have Rami enter you with two fingers and his thumb continuing your clitoral stimulation.

“Mm fuck. Just like that,” you threw your head back as you gripped the sheets tightly in your hands.

“Cum for me please. I want to hear that whine. Please baby.”

Your mind didn’t have time to ache at the precious pet name he just called you, because your body was too busy sparking with electricity as your climax hit you hard. You weren’t completely sure about the volume of your moans, but you knew that you were very vocal in saying “fuck Ram, I’m cumming.”

His fingers pumped inside of you until your body seemed to relax into the bed and he removed them, but not without giving his fingers a good lick.

“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look that hot when they cum.”

-

And now here we are. 3 months later. Possibly being pregnant with your good friends child.

What else could fucking happen?


	2. Part 2

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes okay? Don’t freak out; we’ll figure this out regardless of what the test says.”

You closed your eyes and took in Rami’s reassuring words he spoke over the phone. His voice was so calm and thoughtful and you couldn’t believe how he was reacting to all of this. Much better than you were, that’s for sure.

“Thank you for being so understanding about all of this… I just don’t get it! I’ve been on the pill for years and I’ve never had an issue with it.”

You heard him sigh over the phone and knew he was clearly nervous about this whole situation, which was only normal. We couldn’t raise a baby together; hell we weren’t even in a relationship with one another.

How would we do this.

You shook your head, shaking the thoughts out of your thinking. You didn’t even know if you were pregnant yet, and here you were making plans on how to raise a child with your best friend. Step by step ya mad woman.

“I’m pulling up to your street now. I’ll be inside in a bit. Want me to use my key?”

You smiled to yourself, remembering the day he asked for a key to your place. He explained that he strictly wanted one for those late nights when you called him over simply for a good fuck, but, through out the last couple of months, he would come over, unannounced, with dinner and a movie and you guys would cuddle up on the couch with one another… and then fuck!

It truly felt like a relationship without the label, and you weren’t terribly upset about that because at least you got to spend the precious and little time with him that you did, label or not.

“Yes please. I’m in the bathroom attached to my bedroom,” you replied to him, hearing the sound of his car door closing, through his end of the phone.

“I’ll be right up babe.”

You smiled at his pet name. A pet name that he’d adopted for you that morning after you’d first become intimate. It made you feel bubbles in your tummy and your smile spread from cheek to cheek. You were a whipped woman and you fucking hated it. Or did you?

“Okay”, you said as you set your phone on the counter top and began quickly focussing your attention to the instructions on the box, even though you were pretty sure it was just like it was in the movies.

Pee on stick, wait a few minutes, then you find out how fucked or unfucked you are.

Hearing a key twisting and turning in your front doors lock somehow made you so much more nervous now more than ever. What if he would be furious? He was calm on the phone, but what if he was just holding it all in? I’d never seen Rami mad, aside from when he was acting, and i really had no idea what to expect from Rami were he to actually be angry, sad, or mad.

See, that’s one of the issue with these situations. Me and Rami are still a fresh friendship. He wasn’t my best friend from elementary school that I grew up with and then randomly started having sex with. He was my costar whom I’d met only a few months ago and I didn’t know him inside and out just quite yet.

Not to say that we hadn’t gotten personal before. We both weren’t the type to fuck and then just leave one another for the evening. He or I always stayed the night after a vigorous evening and that means that we did get to talk to each other more. He told me about where his parents are from, I told him about my abusive father, he told me his nervous habits, and I told him my favorite flavor of ice cream. We were slowly but surely forming this bond that didn’t have a name, but we both felt it.

Two arms snaked around your waist as you peaked in the mirror to see Rami resting his head on your shoulder, giving you sympathetic eye contact.

“Doing okay?”

You shrugged, leaning your head to rest against his. “Could be better”, you slightly smiled.

“Well, lets get to it then. How does this thing work.”

You nearly laughed at the way Rami was looking at the pregnancy stick, as if it were a foreign object that was from a mythical land that you needed to go through some type of labyrinth journey in order to acquire the knowledge that granted you permission to use it.

God, he’s so cute.

“Well we don’t have to do anything, but i think I know what to do Ram. All I do is pee on the thing, wait a few minutes and then we’ll see what it says.”

Rami nodded, “So want me to give you some privacy while you, ya know, pee on the thing.”

“Get the fuck out”, you laughed and playfully shoved Rami out of the door way, closing the door behind you.

Okay, now or never I guess.

You obeyed the instructions listed on the box, word for word, and once finished, you set the test on the counter.

Carefully, reality started to slip in front of your eyes like a lens. Prior to this, sure you knew you’d be taking the test, but now, Rami was in your apartment and you were about to go search for him as both of you waited to find out if you’d be having a child together or not. This was so real, so entirely real and it wasn’t dreadful, that was the oddest part of it all.

Yes, if you were pregnant it would completely put a twist on yours and Rami’s life plans, but it wouldn’t be god awful. He was a nice guy and he clearly wasn’t losing his shit too much over your pregnancy scare so he wouldn’t just dump the child on you and leave. This could work.

As you twisted the door handle and let the door fall open, you faintly heard the sound of music seeping in from somewhere to the far east side of your apartment.

As you made your way down the set of stairs, you could make out some sweet little singing accompanied with a Motown song as you got closer and closer to the kitchen, and there he was. Swaying his hips around your kitchen, seeming to be without a care, and… was he eating your leftover pizza?

“Oh no you don’t!”, you quickly snatched up the box containing your precious and much anticipated leftovers from the night before and proceeded to put the cold food back into the fridge, but not before grabbing yourself a slice as well.

“What?”, Rami muttered, mouth entirely full of the delicacy that is cheese pizza.

“I was saving that for the perfect occasion,” you pouted before snagging a bite of the cold, yet acceptable grub.

“And what occasion would that be? Watching sad movies alone in your underwear?”, He quirked an eyebrow at you, clearly wanting to tease.

You shrugged and took another massive bite out of your pizza, to which Rami laughed with a hand over his mouth, trying to keep all of his food still in his mouth.

“Clearly it’s my ‘waiting for a pregnancy tests results’ pizza and you reduced it to some minuscule Motown fest you were just having.”

Rami shook his head as he scooted his sock clad feet across the floor over to your standing position. His palms lay flat on top of the counter set behind you as he stood directly in front of you, placing you in some sort of confined space between his arms.

“How long have we got?”

You briefly looked down at your phone, “7 minutes now, was 10.”

He nodded while his eyes bore into yours, his nose gently nudging your cheek as he leaned in towards you.

You knew that look. He was actually trying to seduce you and put you in an intimate mood and at a time like this.

“Are you really trying to sex me up right now,” you giggled, placing your arms around his neck.

“Hey, if the test is negative then we’ll have to get this anxiety out somehow right?”, he began twisting a small piece of your curly hair around his finger as his forehead rested against yours and his grin spread to nearly each of his ears.

You pressed your lips to his; not a quick kiss, but not a slow one. A kiss that had become a normal kind for you both, Whether it be during your moments of intimacy or just when you fucking felt like kissing one another (which was becoming more and more often).

Suddenly, the sweet tune of ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ began to play through your speakers. The upbeat drums were beginning to lead into the males vocal, when Rami got wide eyed.

Oh boy.

“Dance with me”, he so much as demanded, rather than asked as he began lip syncing the words while wrapping one arm around your waist and another joined his opposite hand with yours, entwining his lengthy fingers with your much smaller hand.

The neighborhood, hands down, could hear the sound of your high pitched laugh as Rami swung you around your kitchen, him mouthing the male vocals and you mouthing the female counter parts as you both swayed and twirled and acted out the parts of the Motown singers set back in the 60’s.

His much deeper laugh contrasted yours perfectly as he dipped your body towards the ground and used his hand on your lower back to bring the weight of your body back up to be face to face with him as the music began to fade out.

“That’s a great way to kill time.”

You nodded in agreement with Rami’s words as his thumb began to heat up your hand with its back and forth, soothing movement.

“Thank you.”

“For what? Showing you my Motown moves? All you had to do was ask baby”, you shook your head at the ever clever and always cute man in front of you.

“You know what I mean Ram.”

He nodded in agreement as his other hand came to the back of your head, cradling your face into his chest, his other arm sneaking around you in a comfortable embrace.

“I’d never let you deal with this alone, you know that right?”

You bit your lip as you nodded against the feeling of his soft t shirt that smelled so gloriously like him. His scent was enough to put a smile on your face and put your thoughts at ease.

“Whatever happens. We both deal with it, not just one of us, it’s both of our mess, not just yours or mine.”

Lucky. You were so incredibly lucky to have a friend like this glorious human being that was in your home. He was here, dancing with you in your kitchen in an attempt to distract you from what massive anxiety was building up in your belly, and maybe something else was building up in there as well.

Speaking of which.

You glanced at the oven, squinting your eyes at the red electric clock.

“Oh shit it’s been 15 minutes”, you practically run up the stairs, but half way up your nerves begin to set in.

You’re rooted to your spot, on the carpeted steps, as if you are a planted tree. Your hands begin to shake like branches in a steep breeze and your heart starts thumping erratically as the weather around you turns cold.

“God, you didn’t tell me you could sprint that fast”, Rami said, as he stopped behind you on your route to your bathroom.

His laughter ceased as he noticed your straight forward facial expression and he immediately took his hand into yours.

“Cmon”, he attempted to pull your hand, but you were having none of it.

You were truly frightened now. Because regardless of everything, regardless of Rami being responsible about his action and regardless of you and him having plenty of money to raise a baby, if this test turned out to be positive, yours and his relationship would change. Could be for the better, or it could be for the polar opposite. You couldn’t lose what you had with him and you were terrified that’s exactly what was going to happen.

“Y/N,” you didn’t reply, you were still so frozen in your thoughts to move or acknowledge Rami, even though you were hearing his every word and feeling his every touch.

“Baby.”

His soft voice was vulnerable and almost begging. You knew you couldn’t keep your eyes away from him if he was going to speak to you as if you were ignoring his desire to comfort.

You glanced at him with a vastly different expression then you had before when you were being waltzed around your kitchen to a jovial tune.

“Cmon, lets figure out if I need to go trade my new Mercedes in for some mom mobile.”

You shook your head, ignoring the light hearted joke he tried to ease you with.

“Hey,” he tucked his finger under your chin and moved your face up to look at him. “We’re in this together remember?”

A slight smile tucked itself into your lips as you nodded and squeezed his hand as you led him up the stairs into your bedroom.


	3. Part 3

“Oh thank god”, you sigh with your hand guiding itself to your heart, somewhat clenching it and begging the rapid beat to simmer down even the slightest bit.

“What’s it say?”, Rami peaks over your shoulder at the test, curiously trying to distinguish his fate, or rather the both of your fates.

“See the line right there? That means not pregnant”, you spin around and smile at him as you place the test back onto its spot on the counter.

He mutters a ‘fuck’ as his arms wrap around your waist, spinning you in a 360 degree motion around your microscopic bathroom that is only perfectly situated for two people.

“That’s a good ‘fuck’ right?”, you squeeze yours eye together, trying to distinguish Rami’s lack of describing words, but a quick nod of his head brings you both to the same page.

That was close. You were both so fucking close to losing so much, or rather, having to accommodate for so much. The worst part was you weren’t sure how to prevent something like this from happening in the future. You were using birth control and doing so in a responsible manor… there wasn’t much to scold yourself over really. Regardless, it was done and everything was going to be okay.

“If you want I could show you a reaaallllyyy good fuck.” Rami teased as he placed his hands on your hips, his shining eyes were nearly enough for your panties to throw themselves across the room and have your way with him right then and then.

God he is fucking delicious.

“Could you now?”, you cocked your eyebrow upwards at his severely tempting and severely hot words.

You weren’t sure what backwards universe you were currently alive and breathing in, but it felt like a complete dream. You were on a successful tv show, you were making good money, and you were in this, whatever you want to call it, with a sweet and hot guy. A Genuinely sweet guy, not some asshole with plastic emotions that was only being nice to you in order to gain something, because he had gained what he could’ve from you already, and yet he kept coming back for more and kept staying a little extra time just to have a chat with you.

This was something real and it’s terrifying because you felt the same. If only time allowed you both to pursue anything more…because you would like to pursue so much more with him and yet you were stuck in this situation, not a terrible one, but certainly not ideal, at least on your end. Because as good as this was, being able to call him something other than your ‘fuck buddy’ didn’t sound half bad and being committed to him is something you had already decided you were.

You needed to take a step back though. This was all your feelings and your thoughts; who knows what he was thinking and feeling for you. It could be the complete opposite of your thoughts. Maybe this is the kind of arrangement he wanted? Maybe he wasn’t the relationship type? Although, your late night talks and chats between filming at work proved he seemed to be keen on long term relationships. Oh god, what if he had a secret girlfriend and you were the other woman? What if-

“Always thinking, I swear.”

You hadn’t realized how long you had probably zoned out for, until you heard the familiar deep, raspy voice of the man whose very existence was consuming your thoughts.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about things.”

You let a small smile grace your lips as you looked up at him. His eyes giving you their undivided attention, his bottom and top lip both tucked in towards one another as if he was studying you, his hands lay slack by both of his sides, and his fingers, though they were dangling towards the ground, kept occasionally brushing and entwining with yours.

“Tell me what you’re thinking”, Rami uttered as his hands began to massage up and down both of your arms. “I feel like we always talk about me, I want to know more about what goes on in your head so often to keep you zoning out like this.”

But you couldn’t tell him. No way. Absolutely nooo fucking way. If you were to even remotely begin to explain to him how you wanted something more than what you and him currently had, it would just make everything complicated because what if the feelings weren’t mutual? Then you’d probably stop sleeping together and then you’d have to deal with seeing him at work and, god, everything would just get so incredibly awkward. You couldn’t say any of this to him.

“Just relieved is all”, you shrugged nonchalantly, attempting to keep a smile on your face. “I’m just happy we don’t have a child coming anytime soon. We’d be so fucked.”

You figured Rami would be nodding and smiling, agreeing with your every word, but his expression sent you another message. A much more questionable one.

He was blank. Unreadable and unemotional; just blank. Was he disatisfied with your words? My god, did he actually want you to be pregnant? You both were in your 30′s so it wasn’t as if you were both too young and broke to afford a child… but still! No way on earth was raising a child with someone who wasn’t your significant other on your agenda, plus, you were much too busy with your career.

“Now you tell me what’s going on in your head”, you patted his grown out wavy hair as he sent you a sweet smile.

“Okay, but you can’t get creeped out on me okay?”, you tilted your head and put both of your hands on his chest.

“Dear god, did you want me to be pregnant?”, you whispered the last three words. 

“No, no! Of course not, no”, he shook his head quickly, but kept his expression calm. “I was just thinking it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to happen to me if you had been.”

What in the mother fucking fuck was that suppose to mean? Well, clearly it meant exactly what he said, but honestly; what? If you had been pregnant, he would’ve been okay with it? Would he have wanted to keep it? Would he have wanted you both to move in with each other and raise this child with two of its parents around? Would he want a boy or a girl?

Wait, why are these thoughts coming up? You’re not even pregnant and yet here you are, planning everything out and questioning everything as if you were. Get a grip darling, get a god damn grip.

“Would you like me to elaborate”, he spoke through a laugh. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

Trust me, a ghost would’ve been more on your agenda then having been pregnant and Rami actually wanting this child. This imaginary child, that is.

“Would be quite nice. I’m just a bit.. shocked is all, you know?”

Rami nodded, clearly being understanding of how you were reacting.

“I was just thinking…”, he trailed off, glancing down at his hands that were resting against the bathroom counter top. “We each make a good living and… and I don’t know. You would make a great mother so, would it really be all that bad? I mean, some people who don’t even get along have children with each other. We would’ve been a good team I think.”

Your eyes were stunned and widened as you gulped down an imaginary lump in your throat, clearly just trying to perform some sort of bodily reaction to all of this to make sure you hadn’t gone totally numb from his so very honest words.

He thought you would be a great mother? He really fucking thought that? He barely even knew you and he was already assuming things about you, most likely, to just fill in the mold he had of you in his mind. Don’t get it wrong, you guys had a great friendship and an even better sex life, but Rami didn’t know you. He may think he did, but did he really?

“I just made things weird, didn’t I?”, Rami ran a hand through his hair as he backed himself against the plain colored wall of your bathroom, never taking his eyes off of you, but you still remained dough eyed and silent, unable to form a proper reaction because you honest to god couldn’t think of one besides being stoic.

“Say something please? I didn’t think what i said was all that bad. I just think we work well together is all.”

What does that mean- what does that fucking mean? That we would be good parents together or that we would be good partners together?

“What makes you think I’d be a good mother?”, was the first thing to come out of your mouth, or rather blurt from your mouth as you folded your arms in front of your chest, putting up an imaginary guard between you and the boy you were fond of, yet were also so scared to let in.

Rami puffed some air into his cheeks as he bobbed his head from side to side, making his eyes remain glued to the ceiling as he ventured deep into his thoughts. Thoughts of you, thoughts of this ‘almost’ baby, but primarily thoughts of you and him, together.

“You remember that one time.. maybe the second or third time we slept together and you and I made a little fort in my living room because we got snowed in?”

Your frozen facial features soon began to de thaw at the precious memory. One that was filled with a full 28 hours of you and Rami coexisting together under one roof. Him preparing dinner and you preparing breakfast the next morning, him throwing yours and his clothes into the washer and you tidying up the comforter and pillows in his bedroom. It was the first taste you had really ever had of what it felt like to be in committed relationship with someone, and yet you and Rami were anything but. Nevertheless, it was a pleasant memory.

You simply nodded as the vivid images racked through your mind.

“I feel like I saw you. I mean really saw you. I felt you open up to me and show me this domestic side of you that I hadn’t encountered before and.. I don’t know. The domestic role of motherhood seems to suit you.”

The domestic role of motherhood suited you? How on earth could he pass that strong of a judgement on you from a mere set of hours spent in a snow covered New York apartment building. How could he even pretend to know you when he truly, truly did not. Or maybe he thought this domestic side of you was the real you?

Sure, you could say that was your own fault for not being as open as he was with you, but that just wasn’t you. Regardless of the strong friendship you both held, you weren’t an open book, merely a locked diary and you were the only keeper of its key and, you thought, shame on him. Shame on him for only admiring your ability to be domestic when you were so much more than a housewife. God, if you had any career in mind, being keeper of the house and home was probably the least favorite of yours.

“Please..please don’t.” You shook your hand in front of your chest as you silently squeezed past Rami and exited the bathroom. You kept walking, ignoring the obvious loud footsteps trailing hot behind you, but you just kept going.

Your mind was looking for something, anything to busy yourself with because even if he wanted to have this conversation, you could pass off an excuse to wash the dishes or, you know, do some domestic shit, just like he liked.

Your fast walk ended up taking you to the washer and dryer set in your kitchen as you hustled towards the machines, remembering that you had a freshly done load in the washing machine.

Thank god.

Your hands began busying themselves - throwing in article of clothing after article of clothing into the dryer and the actions were working to distract you from the inevitable conversation, but not enough to distract Rami.

“What the fuck Y/N?”

“What”, you kept your eyes and hands busy with the laundry as he stood mere inches beside you with his hand resting atop the stacked washer and dryer combo.

“You just walked away for no reason. Talk to me.” His words were so soft and slightly begging me to simply talk and do so freely and openly without regret or worry.

“I don’t want to talk right now Rami. I need to do chores and-“

“That’s bullshit”, loudly, his hand came in contact with the metal of the machine as he slapped his hand against it. His clear sign of frustration was something you hadn’t encountered before and shocked you a bit to see him so physically displaying his emotions.

Although you were surprised, you kept your expression blank as you continued creating more work for yourself to do, now moving over to the sink and turning on the hot water in preparation to do the small amount of dirty dishes you had leftover from your previous meal.

You heard his feet tap against the hardwood floors and you felt the warmth of his body as he pressed his front against your back, but you continued scrubbing your dishes that weren’t even too terribly dirty to begin with.

Rami’s hands came into your view as he placed them directly on either aide of your body. You didn’t turn around and frankly you pretended as if his hands never came into your vision in the first place, but he didn’t dare fall for your silent treatment or your busied behavior.

“You don’t fool me a bit”, his deep voice traveled directly into your ear as his chin placed itself on your shoulder.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, you lied as you turned the hot water off and picked up a dry rag from the counter to wipe your hands clean.

Rami admitted his defeat with a loud sigh as he removed his hands from beside you and shoved them into the front pockets of his dark jeans. Clearly, he wanted nothing more than for you to speak to him honestly and that wasn’t a ton you could give him, you knew that, but what was the point of opening up to him? Nothing would come of it, except you would both be a little more open with each other, but that was it. It’s not like the more he got to know you, the more he would fall for you and then you two would skip off merrily down a road leading to fuck knows where. That was logic and right now you needed logic to remain mentally stable during this entire, whatever you call a friends with benefits pregnancy scare.

But now you were upset about him not really knowing you when you were the only reason he didn’t know you. Could you really be mad at him for such a thing when he was fighting so hard to get into your mind and see what you see and love what you love?

“I’m sorry… you don’t deserve that”, you turned around and faced him.

“You’re fucking right I don’t. I was telling you you’d make a great mother and then you just distanced yourself like that from me. Why?”

You shrugged an honest to god shrug because you didn’t know. Rami was nothing but nice to you and he was able to open up to you nearly right away and yet you couldn’t reciprocate that feeling. You hated that you couldn’t, but, again, that just wasn’t you. No matter how hard you tried, you gave Rami fake smiles at times when talking about past memories and you never, ever, told him the genuine emotions you were feeling. You merely closed up, everytime, maybe giving a nod or a smile to show you weren’t a totally numb person, but that was all.

“I’m not a housewife.”

Rami squinted his eyes at you, trying to distinguish where this conversation was headed.

“Okay? Well, I nev-“

“You said some bullshit about me being domestic and that’s not who I am. Sure I can do some dishes and fold a fucking towel if needed, but I’m not some little damsel who wants to stay home and take care of a household, okay? That’s just-that’s just not me.”

The volume in your voice had risen to a much louder tone, without you even realizing it until you said the last sentence; that’s just not me.

It’s true, that wasn’t you, but even you had to remind yourself that it wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world if you had been pregnant. It would’ve twisted and turned your entire world, but adjustments would’ve been made and things would’ve fallen into a comfortable routine eventually.

“You’re seriously mad because I complimented your domestic skills?”

You nodded at Rami’s words as he let out a small sarcastic laugh as he distributed his weight from one foot to the other and doing so continuously as you both just stared at one another.

Yes, you seemed mad and irrational and maybe you were, but that didn’t exclude your feelings and right now you were mad, but you couldn’t decipher who you were mad at; you or him or both? Right now, you decided it was him.

“That’s not me,” you repeated, “don’t act like you know who I am when you don’t Rami.”

He was furious, you could tell by the way he sharply inhaled through his nostrils and griped his hands together tightly as they folded in front of him.

“You’re fucking kidding me right?”

You shrugged, “What’s there to kid about.”

Mumbled profanities faintly feel from his lips as he began to pace the floor; back and forth, and back and forth he went like a chiming clock. You watched him closely, the way his jaw was tightened, his hands were stuck by his sides, balled into tight fists-he was angry, so fucking angry.

“You do realize the only reason that I don’t, quote on quote, know who you are is because of you right?”

You knew it was true, you knew about your emotional wall, but all you could do is shrug again.

Rami’s loud breathing began to simmer down as he stopped pacing and stood directly in front of you, his hands reaching out to you, potentially to hold you by your waist or to hold your hands, you weren’t sure, but you granted him neither. You merely kept them folded tightly against your chest.

In defeat, he dropped his hands to his sides again and with a sigh he started walking towards the door, which was only a few feet from where you were curently standing.

You didn’t fight him when he began putting on his coat and you didn’t beg him to stay as he slipped his shoes onto his feet. You were a statue.

Rami grabbed his keys out of his coat pocket and tucked them into his hand as he twisted your front doors knob.

“I’ve been trying so hard to get you to be open with me…” he glared at you from the door way, “and you won’t budge. I just want to know you and you won’t let me and then you get mad at me for not knowing you I just-“

Rami shook his head as he took a step towards the door, “I don’t know what you want from me.”

With that he left. Neither of you texted or called or even shared so much as a ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ when you’d see each other while filming.

You ruined everything. You knew you did.

•••••••••••••••••••

“…and you said you’re having nausea in the morning and severe back pain?”

You nodded from your seat on the bench set in the small doctors office.

“Any chance you could be pregnant?”

You shook your head, “No, I took a test around two weeks ago and it came out negative.”

Your doctor nodded her head as she scribbled down some unknown words on her clipboard and took a seat parallel to you.

“How about we do another test, just to be sure. You said you’ve been sexually active in the past month, correct?”

You nodded, infact you’d been sexually active up until 15 days ago when he walked out on you, for good cause, you had come to terms with. You deserved to be “ghosted” so to speak. You were being wildly irrational that day and you still couldn’t pin point why his words hurt you like they did when, in fact, you were the one at fault and you were the one not letting Rami properly get to know you; the real you that hated reheated French fries, but adored early 2000’s rom coms.

“Another test is fine”, you shrugged as the doctor patted your shoulder and exited the room to prepare everything for the second pregnancy test you were taking this month.

You weren’t worried a bit, you knew you weren’t pregnant and the test you took from the comfort of your own home already told you the exact same thing, so you figured this was just for the doctors file so they could totally rule something out and get to the bottom of your sudden nausea you had first experienced the day after you and Rami’s less than delightful conversation.

Now, you were having to run out, during the middle of you filming a scene, to go find the nearest bathroom or, honestly, any sort of trash can so you could relieve the upsetting pain in your stomach. Hence, why you were here, in a blandly colored small room, scrambling to put on your real clothes and shed the hospital gown from your body.

Several minutes passed before the doctor returned, cup in hand and thorough instructions on the nearest bathroom, what you had to do, although that part was not so much needed, and how it would only take an hour or so to find out the results.

You took in all of her words, though you felt them to be useless, seeing as you weren’t pregnant, and obeyed her instructions as you headed for the bathroom.

•••••••••••••••••••••

Coffee in hand and a bagel in the other, you briskly walked back to the studio to continue filming for the day, after your brief doctors appointment.

New York was so cold today. Your expensive winter coat wasn’t enough to keep your arms from shivering in the cold air every time it hit your face, feeling like pins and needles, and the coffee in your hand wasn’t doing the trick either.

You nearly sprinted as you caught sight of the studio and your hand was on the door knob right as you felt your phone vibrate in your coat pocket. Although your body was desparate for warmth, you didn’t want to answer your phone inside at the chance that they would be filming and then you’d get death glares thrown at you for ruining a scene.

You quickly removed your glove from your hand and swooped your finger across the screen, “Hello?”

“Hi, this is Lower East Side Medical Office, is this Y/N?”

Just then Rami walked out of the door you nearly just walked in to, cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other. You both made brief eye contact before diverting your eyes to your surroundings, as if you were strangers. God, you hated how distant you both were now.

“Yes, this is she”, you answered, leaning your back against the brick wall, merely 20 feet from Rami who was in the same position as you.

“I’m just calling about the results of your test today.”

“Oh right, okay”, you stuttered as your eyes briefly glanced over at Rami as he exhaled a puff of smoke.

“Well, your pregnancy test came back positive so we are going to need you to come in sometime this week for an ultrasound. What day and time works for you?”

“What!”, you nearly yelled as your coffee dropped to the ground, splattering all over the pavement and catching the attention of the dark haired boy next to you.

“Are you sure? Cause I already took-“

“Yes we are sure. Doctors test are more thorough and accurate compared to in home tests, but we won’t be 100% sure you are pregnant until we get you in for an ultrasound.”

No way. Absolutely no fucking way was this happening.

A loud sigh left your lips as you kept your gaze fixed on the empty coffee cup gracing the pavement. Your hands were shaking and you suddenly started sweating even though the temperature couldn’t have been more than 20 degrees.

There had to be a mistake. There just had to be.

“Uhm.. okay, uhm..”, you stuttered, unable to form proper words or proper sentences because, holy shit, you are fucking pregnant.

You didn’t care that you hadn’t gotten an ultrasound yet and that there was possibly still a very slim chance the doctors test was wrong. It would explain your nausea which you now could see was morning sickness, and the back pain was listed under early signs of pregnancy when you initially googled your symptoms. Come to think of it, mood swings were also specified as early symptoms, which would very well explain your ridiculous reaction to Rami calling you domestic and oh fuck.

What do you say to Rami. Do you tell him? Do you raise this baby by yourself? Do you even keep the baby? Better yet, should you move out of the country and assume a life of celibacy?

“Hello?”

The words of the woman on the other line pulled you back together as you mentally went through your filming schedule for the week.

“Sorry, Sorry. What about uhm.. Friday? Is Friday a good day?”

Despite your scattered brained and shaky body, you managed to type in the date and time of your next appointment into your calendar, immediately after ending the phone call.

Friday. It was a mere 2 days away and you couldn’t stop thinking about the cold jelly that would be smeared on your still small belly and how the doctor would shift this device against your skin where it would magically project the image of your womb onto a screen. A most likely not empty womb either.

But instead of the cute mental image of a man and women, holding hands and smiling at the first sight of their child, your fate would be much, much different.

A). You would be alone, shaking, potentially crying, and wishing silent hatred to yourself for getting yourself into this situation or B). You wouldn’t be alone, you’d have Rami, but the room would still feel so cold and distant because you both would be just that; cold and distant towards on another like you have been so recently. No hand holding, no smiles, just a lot of empty silence and wide eyes.

But what was still up for debate was you even telling him. He already went through the scare of taking a pregnancy test with you and then the relief of you not being pregnant. Did you really want to drag him back into that situation? Especially when you both weren’t on such fine and dandy terms?

God I need a drink. Oh wait! I can’t even drink now.


	4. Part 4

Thursday. You now had one more day until you were formally introduced to your child and one last set of agonizing 24 hours which you could tell Rami about everything.

You’d picked up your phone and typed out a text nearly 10 times and had your finger hovering over the call button on his contact, but you never could bring yourself to follow through with it. You just couldn’t. Not when you both were not doing so hot, friendship wise, not to mention, he was at the peak in his career and you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him and take away all he’s worked hard for. 

He was so fucking talented, even you could see that from working with him and browsing his work. A baby would mess it up and you’d be willing for it to mess up your life plans, as long as it meant Rami could keep on keeping on with what he had going for him.

God, I knew I never should’ve had sex with him.

An attempt at one night stands never ended well with you - you either fell hopelessly for them and then had your feelings hurt or dated them and, once again, got your feelings hurt. When you’d first met Rami you knew that feeling was there, you weren’t sure if it was intimate feelings, sexual feelings, or just a natural bond you guys had right from the start, but as soon as alcohol was in both of your systems with music blaring and celebration on the rise, it was clear you both wanted one another, sexually, that is; at least right at that moment it was purely sexual.

On your end, you could feel the little smile that naturally spread onto your facial features when his notifications would pop up on your phone or when he’d grab his and her’s coffee for you and him when he’d show up to work. Your friendship and sexual feelings were developing into this giant ball of much deeper and intimate desires that you wanted from him and, the worst part is, you couldn’t even do anything about them. Especially not now with millisecond glances being the only thing keeping you both still acknowledging one another.

You adored going to work before, but now you were almost grateful for your early morning and late night calls because it was the only thing that still gave you time to see him and watch him talk to other people and smile as he engaged in friendly conversation with the other actors and even though you so badly wanted that to be you engaging in playful banter with Rami, you were thankful you were, at the very least, still able to see him in some way or another.

These flashback were the only thing keeping your current morning commute to work somewhat tolerable, but the couple sitting across from you engaging in loving hand holds and little kisses were not supporting your ‘independent pregnant chick’ vibe that you were trying to embracing, but failing miserably at.

You were terrified.

You would eventually begin showing your baby weight and then what? You’d probably have to be asked to be written out of the show, which was the first big role you’d gotten so far in your career and then what would be your excuse for having to leave the show? I’m sure word would eventually get back to Rami or he would at least notice I’d stop showing up to work.

On the other hand, you didn’t have to keep the baby and your life could remain the very same. You weren’t opposed to the idea of abortion what so ever, but it just felt wrong to you to go through with such a thing without the fathers consent. It was, after all, half yours and half his DNA.

Ours, the baby was ours.

You shook your head as your train stop blared through the speakers inside the train car, making you quickly gather up your belongings and quickly head for the parted train doors.

With headphones in your ears and a coffee in your hand, your brisk walk through a snowy New York seemed tolerable today. The wind wasn’t being overly expressive and there wasn’t a ton of people out, assuming because of how early it was in the morning. 

4 am wake up calls were not your favorite, but at least they involved less bumping and ‘excuse me’ from strangers, and the director just had to have the proper, early morning lighting for the scene you happened to be shooting today.

“Hey, Y/N, wait up.” The high pitched voice of one of the film crew members was trailing hot behind me as she ran, to the best of her ability, in her chunky healed boots.

“Hi”, I gave her a friendly greeting. I had only spoken with her a couple times, but our interactions were always fairly casual and she seemed nice enough.

“I’m so happy I caught you. I wanted to ask you something and I think you’re the only one who could help me out.”

You looked at her quizzically as you both walked at the same even pace, “Okay, what’s up?”

“You’re friends with Rami right?”

Friends. Hmm. Right now? No. We were anything but friends.

“Uhh.. I guess you could say that.”

She nodded quickly as she took a sip of her coffee, “What do you think of him? Like is he nice? I already know he’s cute, but like…I don’t know, what’s his personality like?”

What was he like. Cute, she had that one right, he is damn cute and his personality. Well, he was social, but also very keen on listening to others, he adored being at home, rather than indulging in the night life of New York, and lastly he was kind. Now, kind was such a simple word, but yet so accurate when it came to him.

He was constantly checking in on those involved in his life, always attempting his best to cheer anyone up when it was needed, and never ever judging of you or your behaviors and choices.

He is an amazing person. Amazing suits him perfectly.

“He’s amazing”

“Oh, I’m sure he is, but can you be more specific? It’s just that, he asked me to go out with him tomorrow night and I-“

He what?

“He asked you out?”, the girl nodded in response with a giddy little grin on her face.

I remember that smile, i had it to when Rami had expressed interest in us hanging out, before sex and feelings were involved; I crave those days.

You kept your expression blank, not able to fake a smile, but also not wanting to show how enraged you were at the sheer thought of him asking another women out, but could you blame him? It had been two weeks since you last spoke and it’s not like you guys ever had a romantic relationship so there was no need to hold back on approaching other potential lovers.

Now, that didn’t mean you still didn’t feel like shit hearing that he was moving on. He was obviously thinking of other women and most likely thinking of them romantically or sexually or both and that ripped you apart and the worst part was you couldn’t show it. No one had a clue about your sexual relationship with him, except for him and you. To top it off, your urges to be more than friends with him we’re hidden to others, your best friend didn’t know, your mother didn’t know - you wanted to be his so badly, but that wasn’t going to happen.

No matter how much you craved and no matter how much you hurt, nothing would come of this pain except more and more pings in your chest as your heart strings snapped and tore apart.

“You okay?”, the girl asked, clearly concerned at my lack of a response and, no doubt, the deep in thought look on my face.

I put on my bravest fake closed smile and nodded, “Yeah, totally. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She shrugged, “You two were pretty close at that party a couple months ago so I don’t want to interfere with anything or make things weird-“

“You’re fine”, You interrupted, “he’s just a friend..not even a friend…he’s a friendly acquaintance.”

She nodded reassuringly and took another sip of her coffee as you both approached the studio. Scanning your badge, to gain access into the building, and whose the first person you see.

Of course, it’s Rami.

“Hi Rami,” the girl immediately greeted him, making him turn his eyes away from his phone and towards the direction of the two of you.

He gave her a flirty smile, but not before making stone cold eye contact with you.

“Hi”, he said to her, but held direct eye contact with you for a split second, before summoning up a smile and flashing it towards the girl.

What an ass.

Confidentially, you waltzed right past him, lightly brushing your shoulder against his as your high heels clicked across the cement floors. You headed to search around the studio for a safe space to put your personal belongings, before everyone gathered in the van that would take them to the shooting destination for the day. Your mind was much too busy cussing Rami out though, for you to fully concentrate.

Really? Moving on already? Fuck, he was probably fucking loads of women behind my back anyways…but it wasn’t even behind my back because we weren’t an exclusive item and- fuck! Everything just feels so intense right now and to top it off I’m fucking pregnant and I don’t know how this could get any worse, I honest to god can’t imagine it getting any worse than things were right now.

“You ready?”

You were surprised to hear Rami’s voice, directly behind you, surely he couldn’t be talking to you, but You were wrong as you turned around and saw him making eye contact with you.

Quickly, you glanced around the room, but it was only you..and Rami; just the two of you being in a room alone again felt so foreign and yet you wanted nothing more than to press your body against his in a tight hug. Even though you saw him nearly everyday, you still missed him; the side you got to see of him. The much more laid back and relaxed Rami who wasn’t multitasking with being social and trying to nail a scene.

“Yes, I’m talking to you”, he snickered as he leaned his hip against the door frame. “Everyone’s getting in the van and they asked me to come look for you.”

Your lips formed an ‘o’ shape and you muttered a swear word as you gathered whatever you didn’t need for the day and set it on a nearby table.

“God, I forgot how slow you are”, Rami chuckled from the doorway as you glared over in his direction, but both of you soon fell into a comfortable laughter.

He looked divine. Sure he was only wearing jeans and a casual t shirt, but god he wore everything right and god did he look soooooo right. The veins in his arms were prominent as he crossed them in front of his chest, his dark jeans hugged his thighs just right and-

Rami cleared his throat, sending your mind into a mental panic as you realized you were just standing there, pretty evidently, eyeing him up. You dared to move your eyes up to his face where his lips were pursed with a small smile on them.

“Don’t even say it,” you said as you fast walked past him, heading for the main door.

“No idea what you’re talking about”, Rami called after you as he sped up his pace to match yours.

You hummed an ‘mmhmm’ as Rami quickly placed his hand on the door, holding it so no one could get in and no one could get out.

“What are you doing,” You said confused, looking up at him.

Rami didn’t say anything right away, but merely stared at you, palm still pressed against the door.

“Wanna hang out tonight?”

“What?”, you questioned.

You both were going from zero communication for weeks to him asking you to hang out and by hang out that usually meant fuck each others brains out.

“It’s my cousins birthday party tonight and I was wondering if you’d want to go with me.”

I swear to god, no matter how much time I spent with Rami I nearly never expected what came out of his mouth or the actions he took. He was so unpredictable when you really got to know him and it was such a cute side to him that I secretly loved that only I got to see. Well, I guess I wasn’t the only one to see it, but I’d hope he had some sort of mannerism that he felt comfortable only showing to me, but this, I was definitely not expecting this. 

“Why don’t you ask, what’s her name?”

“Ashley.”

Sure, sounds familiar.

“I guess? Tall girl who works with the film crew and going on a date with you tomorrow?”, Rami nodded and smirked at you, his eyes dragging up and down your body.

“Jealous?”

“Maybe”, you teased, giving him a dose of his own medicine as you eyed his body.

God, I miss that body.

He tucked his lips together and popped them back out as he continued eyeing you up, taking and concealing mental images of you for when he was alone..and needy.

“So, do you want to go with me or not?”

The pro’s: you would be able to spend time with the boy who you were currently falling head over heels for, you would have a good night out, which you hadn’t had in a long while, and, lastly, you could maybe find time to tell him about your appointment for tomorrow. Maybe.

The cons: you wouldn’t be able to drink alcohol, but hey, better get used to it, right?

“Sure”, you smiled at him, “Now, can we get back to work please?”

Rami smirked down at your short form as he removed his hand from the door and popped it open, holding it for you as you walked through. “Thanks Ram.”

He watched as you walked in front of him, admiring the way your hips swayed, in your tight jeans, to an invisible rhythm. He bit his lip as he trailed behind you as you both situated yourself in the van.You immediately sought shelter in the very backseat of the van, attempting to gain some privacy so you could rehearse the scene in your head, however, Rami decided now was a fucking fantastic time to sit right next to you.

You two hadn’t been this close to one another in, what felt like, forever. His hand was sat rested on top of the seat, his fingertips playing with the fabric of your coat which was draped behind you, and even that felt reassuring to you because, it took all of a small conversation and invitation to a night out for you both to be back to your normal, flirty selves. Was it really suppose to be that easy? Like a small lovers tiff and then you both bounce right back? 

I don’t think we could be more stubborn and ridiculous if we tried, especially me.

Maybe you could tell him about everything, about the pregnancy, well I suppose potential, and your feelings for him that were venturing more towards wanting an actual relationship. After all, if you were both going to have a child together, wouldn’t it be better if both of the child’s parents at least attempted some sort of romantic relationship? 

Rami’s hand relaxing onto your thigh dragged you out of your sentimental thoughts as he lovingly caressed your denim covered leg. You looked over to him and he lazily moved his eyes over to yours; smile gracing his gorgeous lips and a dark colored beanie sat atop his head.

“Ready for the scene today?”

You nodded, maintaining eye contact as your head rested against the back of the seat. You’d nearly forgotten about the scene you were filming today with Rami - a spontaneous little kissing scene, which wasn’t the norm for your usually cold and quiet character, but Rami’s character had been slowly breaking her shell open and the most ironic thing about it was how accurate it was to what Rami was doing to you, but the real you, not your character.

“I think we’ve practiced kissing enough for us to absolutely nail this scene, don’t you think?”

He chuckled and brought his hand up to your cheek, massaging the blushed skin with his thumb, “Doesn’t hurt to practice a little more, you know, so it’s fresh in your mind.”

You raised your eye brow at him as he leaned into your body, resting your foreheads together, “Please?”, he whispered against as he dragged the tip of his nose along your cheek.

You were surprised at his request, but, let’s not kid ourselves, you were craving him and the sooner you could touch some sort of skin against his, the better.

Ever so gently, you pressed your lips to his. It was that sort of feeling of going back home and visiting family after not seeing them for a long period of time, except it was only two weeks since you’d last been on good speaking terms, and it was entirely your fault that this silly little argument even occurred in the first place.

His palm pressed with a bit more pressure into your cheek as you both continued pushing gentle pecks against each others lips. His tongue only slightly peeked out of his mouth before you began returning your kisses with an open mouth, craving his tongue laced with yours. 

Who knows how many minutes passed and honestly, who fucking cared, because you were cherishing this moment as if it were a reunion, which, I suppose it was in some shape or form. 

Rami’s hand had slipped under your blouse slightly, caressing your stomach with his fingers as you both continued to make out in the backseat of the van which was taking you to go make out some more on camera - and you were getting paid to do all of this.

Best. Job. Ever.

The vehicle came to a gentle stop and Rami pulled his mouth away from yours and sent a kiss to your cheek, “I missed you.”

____________________________________

The cozy bar was full of friends and family members and everyone in between as Rami guided you into a booth for you both to claim as your own for the evening.

Oddly, you were a bundle of nerves as you prepared to meet some of Rami’s family; you’d hadn’t met any of his family members before and you wanted to make a good impression on them, seeing as you would be having a new bundle of joy to add to their family in the next several months.

Fuck, I still need to tell him, but how? How does one break the news to their ‘baby daddy’, so to speak, that you are indeed pregnant, even though you had initially thought you were not pregnant. Was there ever an appropriate time for that sort of discussion? God, this would be so much easier if i could drink; drunk me loves telling all my secrets.

“Want me to grab you a drink?”, Rami asked as he shuffled his arms out of his coat and set it in the booth.

“Uhm…just water for me.” Rami squinted at you curiously, “C’mon, i’ll get you a gin and tonic like I know you like.”

“No, really i’m fine. I’m trying to, ya know, cut back on drinking.” Rami shrugged at you, “Fine, but i’m getting plastered so get ready to deal with drunk me.”

You smiled and grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, “Sounds good to me. You’re a cute drunk.”

“Shush,” he said before waltzing over to the bar, letting your hand gently fall out of his and onto the table. You gazed at his back as he leaned his forearms against the bar and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, mindlessly tapping away at his keyboard.

Your eyes glanced around the room as you took in your surroundings and noticed all sorts of people, most who seemed to be quite familiar and comfortable with one another; you assumed they must all be family members by the way they laughed and affectionately hugged one another.

“Is anyone sitting here?”

The voice was familiar and the face was equally familiar, but it wasn’t exactly the person who had initially thought it belonged to.

They must be cousins or something, but they looked like carbon copies of each other, how was that possible?

“No, uhm…no. Go for it.”

He glanced at your stuttering form as you kept your eyes on him as he sat in the booth next to you, most likely wondering what sort of drugs you were on and who you knew in order to get into this party.

“I see you two have met”, Rami said as he set the two glasses down on the table and hugged the man who just sat down.

“Y/N this is Sami, he’s my brother. Sami this is Y/N, she’s my…” your mind was too busy glancing between the two of them for you to hear the last part of Rami’s introduction.

There’s two of them. Holy mother of god.

“Oh, so you’re Y/N. Nice to meet you”, Sami extended his hand out to you as you both engaged in a friendly handshake just as a woman, carrying a babies car seat, took the spot next to him and placed a kiss to his cheek.

“This is my wife, Vanessa, and the sleeping ball of hair in there is Ian,” he signaled, pointing to the carrier. After sending a friendly smile towards his beloved, you peaked inside to see a sleeping infant who did indeed have a lot of hair and a relaxed expression on his small facial features.

“Wake him up, I want to see my favorite nephew”, Rami said as he lightly tickled the babies sock clad foot, attempting to make him stir even a little.

Sami playfully smacked his hand away as Rami kept his eyes fixed on the child, “Let him sleep, asshole. He hasn’t been sleeping well at night as of late.”

Your face held a sad smile as you watched the way Rami sipped on his whiskey and kept glancing down at the tiny human while maintang a casual conversation with his sibling. The amount of interest he held for that child made you feel so bad for not keeping him as informed as you should have, regardless of what terms either of you were on with one another. He deserved to know and be with you tomorrow when you got the ultrasound.

I have to tell him tonight. He’d probably be angry at me for keeping it from him for a couple days, but, regardless, he needed to know and I wanted him to know. I wanted to have him there with me tomorrow.

“So, you’re the guy whose been fucking my brother.”

“Sami!”, his wife smacked his arm, shooting him daggers with her eyes.

“What, it’s true!”

You turned to Rami as he hid his laughter behind his alcoholic beverage as he took a small sip. “Telling people about me, hmm?”, you quietly said to him as you moved your lips to his ear.

He shrugged as he placed his drink on the table and moved his palm to your crossed leg.

“Did i tell you how good you look tonight?”

“Only like five times on the Uber ride over here. Keep it in your pants Malek.” Rami smirked down at you as he squeezed your thigh.

“You and I both know you don’t want me to do that.”

Goosebumps began to rise, at an alarming rate, on your freckled arms as you took a brief sip of your drink; mainly to cover up the wicked smirk that threatened to reveal itself on your face, but also partially to give you time to map out where the bathroom in this dive bar was, you know, just in case a quickie was in need for the evening.

Surprisingly, you and Rami had never entertained the idea of sneaking away to have bathroom sex - you began scolding yourself for not think of this idea sooner.

Work, the bar, award shows…we could’ve had sex in that ice cream parlor too. Damn it.

Rami Brought his arm around the back of the booth, nearly laying it across the back of your shoulders, as his fingers began to massage the nape of your neck - with just enough pressure, he wrapped his hand around your tension filled muscles and soothed them with the pads of fingers pressing into and working them.

Quiet moans left your lips as you reveled in the relaxation Rami was bringing to your aching muscles. Your eyelids began to close as the pressure he was applying began to intensify. Rami enjoyed watching your face twist and turn every time you let out a noise of pleasure or bobbed your head slightly, letting him know that he was doing something right and something that brought you enjoyment. Not to mention, the noises you were making brought on a feeling of want to him; or rather to his cock.

The growing bulge in his pants was becoming too much for him to bare, not to mention difficult to cover with a medium sized glass of whiskey, but he kept on, almost teasing himself, as he gave you this non sexual pleasure that was making his pulse race just at the sight and sounds of you.

“You like that?”, Rami whispered as he kept up his soothing movements on your neck. You responded with a slight nod and quiet whine as he began to guide the top of your spin in a circular motion.

You heard Rami let out a small guttural moan, making your eyes open and glance in his direction.

His eyes were hazed over, almost cloudy, as he hitched his teeth to his bottom lip. “What are you thinking about?”

Rami shrugged his shoulders upwards as he removed his hand, something you severely protested with your puppy dog eyes, and propped his hand up on the table to assist him in standing up.

“Where are you going?”, you questioned. He smirked at you as he walked away silently towards the bar and placed his empty glass onto the counter. You were deeply confused as he started heading for an open door way, but not before he tapped his phone, attempting to signal something to you, but you just weren’t quite catching it.

After a minute you heard your phone loudly vibrate against the glass of the table, Rami’s name flashing across the screen with the message, ‘Meet me in the bathroom in 5 minutes. k?’ being lit up.

With a smirk you swiped on your phone and began tapping away onto the keyboard.

-

Y/N: Can’t wait til we get back to your place huh?

Rami: Just get your sexy ass in this bathroom.

Y/N: But i’m having so much fun thinking about you jerking off in a sleazy bar’s bathroom babe.

Rami: I swear to god.

-

A smirk spread across your face as you set your phone in the pocket of your jeans, lightly brushing something invisible off of your lap and standing up, awkwardly looking around, ensuring that no one had caught on to you both, but of course, one man had. Sami sent a chuckled nod in your direction as he ‘shooed’ you away with his hand teasingly, just as his tiny infant began to stir and let out soft cries.

Their poor parents - i’m sure they were a handful growing up.

Several strides later and you were fixing your hand for the bathroom door, turning the knob in your palm. 

“Took ya long enough.”

“Shut up,” you yanked Rami’s lips down to yours as you grasped the back of his neck, roughly tugging it down to match your slightly over 5 foot tall body. Rami was just as hungry for you as he quickly undid his belt and you began unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them down your legs.

Once you were both partially undressed, your lips returned to one anothers, hungrily devouring the other as Rami settled his hands on your waist, lifting your body up to place it on top of the sink.

Your bodies began to bump against each other as you spread your legs and Rami settled in between them, pressing his groin area into yours as your kisses became even more heated and hands became even more needy.

Foreplay wasn’t needed as you both were severely already worked up and craving one another, even though it hadn’t been too terribly long since you were last intimate, or at least, you hadn’t been intimate with anyone other than him…

You shook the thought from your mind, too on fire and lustful to worry about who Rami was fucking, or not fucking and besides, you held his complete attention at the moment and loved that he was this ready for you.

Rami’s hand moved down to your panties, giving you a teasing rub against your core through your panties, as he hooked his finger into the side seam of the lacy fabric, and moved them to the side - much too needy to slide them off your legs.

Your back began to arch into his hand as he massaged your bare, extremely wet, cunt and you wanted nothing more than to have him mercilessly fucking you into this bathroom sink. Your equally neediness was on display as you shimmied Rami’s briefs down his legs, so they could rest at his knee caps. 

“I love it when you’re needy”, Rami groaned as his fingers continued spreading your wetness along every inch of your heat, making you respond with various noises and wiggles of your body.

“Get inside me already.”

“No Foreplay today?”, Rami teased as you grabbed the base of his cock, slowly pumping it up and down. Getting him erect was already taken care of, seeing as he was already pretty hard once you moved the fabric away and let the warm air kiss his skin. The movement was purely for yours and his pleasure as you watched his forehead crease and his lips move into a circle shape as he watched your finger move along the a vein set on his member.

“Need more convincing?”

“Fuck no,” Rami winced as you moved your thumb along a particularly sensitive area.

He playfully shoved your hand away and placed his hand on your thigh to steady himself as you placed your hands on either side of the sink while he roughly thrusted into you. You gripped the porcelain as hard as you could while he continued his rough movements that had you arching your back into him.

“T-too much?”, Rami breathed out, slowing his movements ever so slightly as he kept his eyes on you.

“More, please.” The high pitched moan you let out turned him on so much as he picked his movements back up, slamming into you and back out at an alarming, and incredibly pleasurable rate. 

His hand made its way to the top of the mirror, set behind the sink, as his other hand remained on your thigh, pushing it down as he fucked you so good. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper into your body making you both feel an the ultimate elation while attempting to keep your noises down, but when Rami was tipsy he was noisy, but you weren’t complaining.

He was naturally very vocal during sex, but alcohol seemed to heighten it, causing his usually quiet moans and groans to be free flowing and come out at whatever volume they saw fit for the situation and god, was he being a noisy boy right now.

As you both continued performing vigorous thrusting movements into one another, Rami moved his forehead to rest on yours - a go to movement of his as of late. Although your movements were anything but slow and sensual, the way his lips pressed against yours was exactly that. Kissing was something you both didn’t do much during sex, in fact this was the first time.

Your hands crept up to either side of his face as you both continued pressing heated kisses to one another as you both enjoyed a comfortable and fast rhythm. Both of your moans were growing louder and louder as you pulled away from his lips to whisper a faint ‘i’m close’ in his ear.

Rami nodded as he moved his hand down in between your legs and started circling your clit rapidly, bringing you to your orgasm as your body began constricting around his hot cock. 

“You’re so fuc-mmmm-fucking hot,” Rami grunted as your body began to relax, settling to slump against the mirror that was now clad in Rami’s hand prints.

“Cum on my stomach.”

Rami looked at you wide eyed as he pulled out of you, his hard cock dripping with your juices. “You sure?”

“Did I stutter?”, you said in between heavy breaths as you tried to get your breathing back to a normal pace.

Rami smirked at you as he pumped himself at a fast pace; you never let your eyes look away as he pleasured himself, in fact, just the sight was enough to get you aching for him again, especially when he spilled his cum all over your bare stomach.

Deep groans left from his lips as his hand movements began to slow against his skin as he finished off his orgasm with one final deep breath as he leaned his head on your shoulder.

You quietly laughed as he took several fast breaths while you played with the now sweaty hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Once you calm down can you get me a paper towel?”, you spoke lightly as to not ruin the relaxing mood that was now filling the bathroom you had both experienced deep pleasure in.

Hurriedly, Rami moved his head off of your shoulder as he moved to grab a paper towel and rub the results of his orgasm off of your stomach.

“Can we do this more often?”

You nodded with a smile as he tossed the paper towel into the garbage can, “Definitely.


	5. Part 5

“Have fun?”, Sami teased as he glanced towards you and Rami as you both exited the bathroom at the same time; hands entwined.

“Shut up.”

Rami and his brother continued on in playful banter while you preoccupied yourself by watching the small infant sleeping next to you in his car seat, causing you to reflect on where your life was headed very, very soon.

It was happening. It was actually happening. In 9 months time, fuck, or even less than that, you would be in this very situation of lugging around a small human with you everywhere you went and caring and feeding and burping and-holy shit. There was just too much to take in and too many things to prepare for and, yes several months was a good amount of time, but was it enough?

What if i’m a shit mom? What if I fuck this kid up? Oh my god, what if its first word is fuck!

Absently, you zoned out, but the small movements and whines of the child brought you back to the present as you watched Ian’s tiny little fingers begin to wiggle.

“Finally!”, Rami immediately wrapped both of his hands around the infants body, lifted the boy up, and began cradling him in his arms. His cooing noises fully woke up the child as Ian opened his eyes and giggled once he got a look at who was holding him.

“There’s that smile”, Rami poked the little guys nose as he made a funny face, attempting to amuse the child.

“He probably thinks you’re me, so don’t be too flattered.”

“Fuck off Sami,” Rami winced at his curse word, knowing he’d get scolded for that later. “He knows who his uncle is, doesn’t he.”

You listened intently as Rami continued on a conversation with the infant paired with the most precious baby talk that, if you weren’t pregnant already, you’d be begging him to put a child in you immediately just so you could watch him do this everyday.

In due time, I suppose.

“Isn’t he cute?”, Rami shifted his body so you could get a better look at the baby as you nodded and tickled your fingers along his round tummy, causing a cute, high pitched squeal to come from Ian’s small lips.

He looked so much like his dad which also meant he looked a lot like his uncle, Rami, and, fuck, it was like I was getting a tiny glimpse into the future and I wasn’t hating it; not a bit. Even though one of the most important parts had still yet to come and I was still attempting to muster up some sort of strength and configuration as to when was the right time to say something.

“See, it wouldn’t have been so bad”, Rami whispered to you as he multi-tasked between taking a sip of his freshly ordered whiskey and rocking the baby in his arms. “I’m a pro already.”

You cocked your eyebrow at his blatant cockiness before being interrupted by your phone loudly making noise against the table. As your eyes glanced down to the screen you saw a calendar notification, specifically, a reminder about your ultrasound tomorrow.

Quickly, you swiped the notification away and turned your phone face down onto the table as you glanced towards Rami who seemed to be preoccupied with the baby and much too distracted to see what was displayed on your phone.

Suddenly, you were no longer in a heavenly haze, but more so an anxious spiral as your mind traveled back to all the things you needed to learn, all the things you need to buy for this child, and all the things you needed to say to the father of your child.

“Do you want to hold her?”, Sami’s wife smiled at you, attempting to pry the child from Rami’s arms.

“Uhmmm-Uh..”

Might as well get some practice in.

“Sure, yeah,” you nodded, reaching out your hands as Vanessa gently set the three month old infant in your arms.

Ian was a tad fussy at first, and you would be to if you were suddenly placed in some strange women’s arms, but Rami placed his head near your shoulder, making sure the baby could see his face and instantly Ian softened into your arms as he stared up at both of your faces smiling faces.

“See, not so bad right?”, you didn’t know if Rami was talking to you or the baby, but you decided to take his words as if they were directed at you because at the very least you could still hold on to the fact that Rami wouldn’t be totally upset when you broke the news to him, in fact, maybe he’d be over joyed. Maybe.

But all of this was just making you feel worse and worse by the second and you just had to say something. Even if it meant right now and dragging him somewhere secluded to tell him - you couldn’t bare to wait any longer.

“Can we talk?”, you whispered into Rami’s ear.

He looked at you a bit bemused, but nodded as he passed the baby back to Sami and finished the last of his alcoholic beverage.

“Want to go to my place?”

Oh god, did I? What if we ended up fighting and then i’d be stuck in his apartment with an angry or sad Rami and a very emotional me or what if i got distracted again (and by distracted, I mean had sex with him, making me forget how to even compose a proper sentence, let alone deliver important news).

Against your nerves, you nodded and quickly started putting your coat on, not wanting to waste any unnecessary time and just wanting to have this conversation done with. The only thing haunting you more than actually saying the two words to him, was the latter reaction. After our last altercation, you really didn’t know what to expect from him or how to even picture how he would react.

Rami and you said your polite goodbyes to his family, of course, Rami had to spend a little extra time holding Ian and whispering sweet words that, not even, you could make out; as if it were their own little secret.

After exiting the bar and getting into the Uber, you had requested, your bodies snuggled affectionately in the backseat and it was making you feeling as tipsy as Rami was, solely because it felt like you were back to normal and you were quickly going to ruin it..again.

But he deserved to know and he needed to know.

Anxiously, your leg bounced up and down giving your feelings away as Rami placed his hand atop your thigh.

“What’s eating you away right now?”

You bit your lip and shook your head, “Not right now. I want to talk about it when we get back to your place.”

Rami nodded, although his facial expression told you that he was still trying to conjure about ideas as to what you wanted to talk about.

“Is this about Ashley?”

Even the mention of her name made you grit your teeth, though you had no reason to be angry at her, she was oblivious to you and Rami’s situation, much like the rest of the world was, and she seemed nice, it was just, you were selfish and wanted him all to yourself. Even worse, you expected Rami to hold some sort of psychic ability and him to be able to understand your feelings without you having to utter a single word. If only things worked out like that; if only things were that easy.

“No,” you scoffed, “It’s not about Ashley.”

“Hey”, Rami nudged your chin, forcing your pouted expression to look towards him as his thumb rubbed against the skin on your face. “No need to be jealous..although you do look very cute when you’re like this.”

His fingers dug into your sides, tickling the exact spots that he knew could drive you to madness as laughter consumed you. You playfully slapped him away as your legs kicked, surely drawing the attention of your Uber driver to the two lunatics in his back seat.

“You promise this isn’t about her?”, you nodded as you attempted to control your laughter whilst Rami let his hands remain on one of your hips as he kept strong eye contact with you, making you wonder what that little brain of his was thinking about.

“What?”

He shook his head, “You really don’t get it do you?”

You threw a confused look his way as he, much to your surprise, brushed the hair, that was laying on your shoulder, away so it could fall down your back. Slowly, you found his lips attaching themselves to your hair as he pressed soft kisses and moved them along down until they were nipping at your ear.

“She was just a distraction,” He said directly into your ear between his various kisses, “I only want you, you should know that by now.”

His affectionate actions were sending shivers down your arms and as much as you wanted this so, so bad right now, you knew that he only meant it the way that most men would mean it. Ashley was a way for him to get a fuck since you were no longer an option and that pained you to no end to know that you were on the same list as Ashley; merely a fuck and a good time and who knows who else or how many others were on this list.

You lightly shoved rami away, moving your body closer to your side of the car as you let your gaze look out the window at all the various lights of cars, buildings, and street signs…but of course, Rami was persistent and when you felt his hand land on your thigh, you knew he would have those precious dilated pupils fixed on you.

All he wanted to do was know you and, once again, get inside your head; it was odd how this situation wasn’t too far away from the talk you had when you had your argument not that long ago. Of course, now it was much more calm, thankfully.

“Why?”

You knew exactly what he meant so you didn’t even bother looking at him or answering his question with another question as a light trickle of tears began to rain down from your eyes, down to your cheek as you furiously wiped them away.

“You’re clearly upset and all I want is for you to talk to me baby.”

God, did he really have to call me that right now. I usually loved that he called me sweet pet names, but now that I knew I was purely a way for him to get his sexual frustrations out, I wanted to just tell him I was pregnant and go home, alone and just cry as loud as I so fucking pleased.

“It’s just..i’m..it’s about us.”

“Us?”

You nodded, as you tried to create a path or some sort of timeline in your brain on how to deliver such dramatic news to him.

“What about us?”

You shook your head, “Not here. I don’t want to have this talk here, let’s wait til we are home.”

Rami respected your request and relaxed back into his seat for the remainder of the drive, his hand remaining on your leg the entire time as he subconsciously rubbed little patterns into your skin.

However, not even a second after you both walked into the door of his apartment, was he beginning to question you again.

Rami was deeply anxious, almost seeming scared of this talk and it was comforting to know that you both gave a shit. If neither of you cared, you both wouldn’t be so desperately clinging on to assumptions and nervous habits to attempt to guess what the other was going to say, or, in my case, how the other was going to react or fuck, how you even dropped this type of news in conversation.

“So, talk.”, Rami pulled out one of the bar stools from his kitchen island and patted the other one set next to him.

With a deep breath, you took the seat offered and planted yourself to the spot, promising yourself that you would remain rooted here until you told him. No more putting this off and making excuses. Even if you got distracted, this was it. In a matter of several hours you would be finding out the news about your baby and..this just wasn’t going to be put off any longer.

“Is this about our..uhm..relationship?”, He said the word ‘relationship’ with a giant question mark, not knowing what to call whatever it was you both had which was comforting seeing as you were just as questioning about it as he was.

“Sorta yeah I-”

“I think I feel it too.”

Your eyebrows pushed together, creating the slightest of creases on your forehead as Rami interrupted you, “What do you mean?”

Rami sighed, nibbling on his bottom lip as he ran a hand through his hair, one of this nervous habits that you adored.

“I like you.”

“I sure would hope so-”

“No I mean…I like you,” He took a deep breath as he attempted to carry on with what he so desperately wanted to say, but was finding it difficult to mutter because he was just as terrified as you were, him for different reasons of course, because he was clueless to the life growing inside your tummy that was his. Rami was more focused on telling you how he felt; how he really felt.

“I want to be exclusive.”

The heart in your chest began having heavy and hard palpitations as you listened to him speak, saying the words you would’ve adored to hear two weeks ago, but right now, this was all too much.

He couldn’t.

You were positive he was just saying what you wanted to hear so he could acquire you for a passionate evening of moans and groans. Absolutely no way was he into you like you were into him. No way were you that lucky, no fucking way.

“Say something please”, Rami reached out his hand to yours, holding your hand in his palm as his eyes pleaded with you, nearly begging on their knee’s for you to say some type of words to either reassure his mind that you were feeling this too, or to completely deny these feelings and to let him down.

“What exactly do you mean when you say exclusive Rami?”

Rami had thought the hard part was over, muttering those words was difficult enough because he knew when he said them there was no going back and once there was no going back that meant things would change and right now, even though it had only been a minute or so since he exclaimed his need for some sort of exclusivity with you, things were different. For good or bad, who was to say.

“I want you all to myself.”, his voice was raised slightly above the volume of a ‘hum’ as he knew he was beating around the bush. Not saying the exact words of what he wanted was an aspect of him you were still trying to grasp. He was one to always be honest and open with you, but it took several attempts to slack it out of him until he would eventually succumb and be straight forward.

“Okay so you want to be the only one to fuck me?”

“God, Y/N this isn’t about having sex this-this is so much more than that.”, Rami said this rather annoyed and aggravated that you would dare to even entertain the thought that, in his mind, you were just a good fuck he was comfortable with getting. You were so much more than a way for him to get his dick wet, but you were also the most stubborn woman he had come across and yet, you were the woman he wanted.

“Okay, then tell me what the-”

“I want you to be my girlfriend.”

Dear God. Dear holy fucking Jesus of Nazareth. Kindly excuse my blatant swear directed at a biblical character, but the reaction seemed appropriate and-oh my god he just asked me to be his girlfriend.

“You can’t be serious.”, instantly, you regretted your poor wording as Rami’s eyes drooped down in the slightest movement, making the rest of his facial features fall into a sad placement as his eyebrows furrowed together in the cutest way.

“I don’t mean-I-”, You fought the words trying to tumble out of your mouth, but you genuinely had no clue what to say. These were the words you had longed to hear, but now that you were hearing them and living with them and breathing with them and pondering over them it was terrifying. 

Not only did you have to worry about the small thing growing inside of you, but now you had this on your plate and no matter how desperately the words ‘i want to be your girlfriend too’ wanted to fall from your lips, your mind was busy thinking over all the details of what would actually happen if you both indeed did date.

“I’m just shocked is all. I wasn’t expecting you to feel that way.”

“Is it bad that I feel this way?”, Rami said with a soft expression as his thumb started caressing your hand while he genuinely questioned you.

A small smile graced your lips as you shook your head and bit your bottom lip, causing Rami to let a smile cover his face that accentuated his jaw. You both remained silent after a while, you, thinking over all the outcomes and pros and cons of being with me, and Rami just simply wanted you to say yes already. He didn’t regret saying that he wanted you to be his, in fact he was instantly relieved and felt a giant weight fall from his back.

“What if I said I wanted that as well?”, Rami’s face instantly brightened up even more so than it already was,

“Just say yes. God, you’re so stubborn”, he spoke with a laugh on the heels of his words.

“Me? Stubborn? Never!”

“Mhm sure. I can play pretend to ya know.”

Whilst scooting his bar stool against the hardwood floor as he stood up from his seating position, he came to rest in between your legs as you still sat in your stool, his hands instantly went to your jaw as he watched your every move; what your eyes were doing, what your facial expressions and body language could give away to him so he could find any sort of sign of how you were feeling.

“Are you going to make me ask again?”

“Well, technically you never asked, you just made a statement.”

Rami shook his head letting a grumbly laugh out from his chest as you went to rest your hands around his waist, enveloping him in a comfortable type hug.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”, Rami asked as he scooted his face closer to yours in anticipation.

“Duh”, you said with a beaming smile on your lips that was quickly interrupted by a kiss that nearly had you falling out of your stool from the impact.


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, this is the last part in the series and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading and giving me lovely feedback; I wholeheartedly appreciate it and I loved being able to give you this small little story. Also, I will be writing a Prequel to YGWIN, which will be about the night reader and Rami first hooked up and sort of give you an insight into how they went from friends to hooking up. Finally, I will also be writing an Epilogue that will give you a glimpse into the future and how things turned out for the both of them. Again, thank you so much for reading this series and I hope you enjoy xx

You could feel a light wind coming from somewhere, most likely the nearest window, as you pulled the comforter up to your chin to cover up your pajama clad body. The cold breeze mixed with the blinding light coming through the white sheer curtains was forcing you out of a deep slumber that you were enjoying much too much, however, you weren’t feeling exhausted physically. Your fatigue was more directed to your mental and emotional stability, but after last night, everything seemed to fall into place… well almost everything.

 

Finally, you were both an item and honestly, you were still completely shocked that he had feelings for you in that way, but no complaints on your end whatsoever, more so just pure and utter shock that your feelings were being reciprocated for once.

 

The remainder of yours and Rami’s evening was a very relaxed one, both of you had gotten in late that evening from his family members party, so you were both already exhausted and to top it off you had a heavily emotional conversation as soon as you arrived at his place, therefore, the only thing you two did last night was curl up in his bed together and enjoy one anothers company.

 

It was the first time you had spent the night together and not had any sexual contact, which did, indeed, feel a bit out of the ordinary, but comforting at the same time because now it felt sort of finalized that you were more to him then a piece of ass, not that you would ever think Rami would view any human like that (your subconscious just liked to make you think he could possibly do such a thing). 

 

Just as you were replaying the spooning session from the night prior, you heard your phone chime a familiar tune as you got a notification. Your sleepy body turned over to face the side table, on the side of the bed that you had claimed as yours, as you stretched out your arm and grasped your phone in your hand.

Your eyes were still sleepy and your vision was still a bit fuzzy, but you could barely make out the calendar notification reminding you of your ultrasound today and, silently, you thanked the gods that Rami had to leave early this morning to meet with his agent and that he wasn’t in bed, next to you, wondering what the alarm set on your phone was for.

Oh, fuck. The ultrasound. How had I managed to completely forget about that…. and I never told him last night about all of this either.. Maybe I should reschedule and allow myself some more time to tell him? Wait, I have to do my ultrasound this week and seeing how it’s Friday already..this was it.

You glanced at the time on your lock screen, briefly noting that you had precisely an hour and a half til your ultrasound..leaving you little time to tell Rami about his and yours infant that was currently brewing in your tummy and were you to even fathom to tell him this last minute, who knows what his reaction would be.

Fuck, he’s going to be so mad at me when he finds out. I need to tell him..

You didn’t really think, more so just did as you grabbed your phone and dialed his number. Even though you were probably fucking up a scene or pulling him out of his character that he got so enveloped in, it didn’t matter because this mattered right now more then anything.

It felt, as though it was up until the last ring when he finally picked up the phone. He sounded out of breath and winded as he gave you a very confused and frustrated ‘hello?’.

“Hi Ram..I’m sorry to bother you while you’re working..”

“You’re my girlfriend now, it’s your job to bug me. Whats up?”

Just the mention of him calling you that label sent bubbles through your stomach, nearly pulling you out of the very real life crisis you were currently dealing with, until your hand gently grazed across your stomach. You looked down and quickly pulled your hand away, almost afraid of the tiny thing living in there, or rather afraid of what it would bring.

“I don’t even know how to say this Rami..”

“Okay, then just say it? Flat out. Give it to me.”

“It’s really not that simple babe I-”

“Hey,” his voice was soft and so mellow, it instantly calmed you down from the anxiety and fear that was creeping up towards you. “You trust me, don’t you?”

Of course, he had to go and pull that card. 

“You know I do.”

“I actually don’t..you aren’t the easiest person to get to know ‘miss. closed off as hell’.”

You chuckled at his accuracy, “I trust you Rami.”

“I know you do. Now tell me, please.” Rami was much too giddy and joking right now that it nearly made you pull a joke and say ‘I just missed the sound of your voice’ or some other stereotypical romantic bullshit.

You nibbled your bottom lip, still wanting to spill out your words, but also thinking about the great impact they could have on everything and everyone involved, but..this was it.

“You’re going to hate me.”

“I could never hate you. Tell me.” This time his voice was much more worried and cautious and already I was regretting putting this off. I should have told him right after I got that phone call when I spilt my coffee all over the pavement as he stood a few feet away from me and yet I still didn’t say a word to him, the father of my child.

You let out a long sigh, brushing the hair out of your eyes as you looked in the hallway mirror at your tired and tensed form and forced yourself to finally fucking say it.

“I’m pregnant.”

-

Reader POV:

The waiting room was bustling with people constantly moving around, young children playing or screaming (or both), and couples chatting as they sat next to one another. 

The couple directly across from me and Rami was the picture perfect, magazine cover worthy first time expecting parents. They had perfect skin, perfect clothes, even perfect fucking hair as they smiled at one another, the mother occasionally rubbing her protruding stomach and the father laying his palm flat on her belly to feel the little one kick beneath him.

I’m sure people were thinking quite the opposite of me and Rami. Sure, we were sat next to each other, but my hand was nowhere near my stomach and me and Rami were even more distant then ever. After I bluntly told him the news, he simply stated how he was grabbing a taxi to the doctors office and would meet me there. 

He must’ve been in a hurry because he was waiting outside, smoking a cigarette when I finally arrived. He looked so angry. So, so fucking angry and I couldn’t blame him because, once again, I was the one to ruin things and now this was something much more than a ‘friends with benefits’ situation that I was ruining, this was our potential future together that I was royally fucking up.

As the nurse called my name, I finally took a glance at Rami. He looked terrified and I hope he knew I was terrified too. I hope he knew how much I was aware that I was fucking everything up to the fullest amount and not nonchalantly taking this with a grain of salt.

Rami sort of answered my question as he took my hand in his, giving me a very, very slight smile as we both stood up from our uncomfortable waiting room chairs together and followed the nurses lead.

The metal table was cold, even though it had a thin layer of paper covering it up, it still made me feel so uncomfortable, but I suppose that was a small con on my list at the moment. Not to mention, this entire situation was beyond uncomfortable, in fact, nothing about this was comfortable.

Not even his hand and his thumb that was gently caressing the top of my hand was soothing enough because now everything felt so real as I lay on this table, shirt pulled up just to my sternum as I awaited the doctor to spread the jelly substance onto my stomach.

It didn’t help that the doctor seemed particularly cheery and wasn’t catching on to me and Rami’s ‘anything but cherry’ moods. It’s not her fault though, i’m sure most of the people who came through her doors were happy couples who were ready to take their lives on a new journey and begin creating a family together, not a fresh (make that super fucking fresh) couple who, at the time of conception, weren’t even officially in a relationship. 

“Alright, this is going to be a little cold okay?”, the doctor said, all too cheerily, as she rubbed the jelly between her gloved hands, attempting to warm it a bit, then spreading it onto my belly.

I flinched a bit at the sudden change in temperature spread across my skin, making rami squeeze my hand as I brought my eyes up to him. He mouthed ‘you okay’ and I nodded even though I–we were anything but okay, but it seemed to ease him enough as he nodded, giving my hand another light squeeze and small smile as he directed his eyes toward the doctor who had some sort of wand-like device in her hand.

“I’m just going to move this along your stomach so we can get a better look at the baby okay?”

Shit this was real, this was so fucking real and, sure it felt real prior to this, but nothing could prepare me for when the doctor started moving the wand along my stomach and then a projected image showed up on the screen. 

Rami’s squinted eyes were all I could focus on as my peripheral vision was fixed onto him. He looked concentrated and that made my heart skip a beat knowing that he was invested, I could tell from when he didn’t question my pregnancy, when I told him over the phone, how he immediately dropped everything and came to meet me. That’s when I fully knew he gave a shit and even if we weren’t going to be together after this..the fact that he would still be here and that he wouldn’t leave me alone to deal with this matter was reassuring.

God, how could I have done this type of thing to this man. This man who wholeheartedly opened up to me and let me care for him and be intimate with him. This man who gave me a second fucking chance and I go and keep this from him.

“Hmm”, the doctor perkily let out as she squinted at the screen.

“What?”

“Oh nothing bad, let me just get a better look before I-”

“Is the baby okay”, Rami interrupted as his concerned voiced filled up my ears. This time it was my turn to run my thumb along his hand in comfort.

“Oh yes, yes! Everything looks great. I just want to verify something first.”

I glanced back up at Rami as we both looked at one other quizzically, but honestly, even a quizzical look was better then the stone cold glances we were giving each other early today, so I was just fine with us being confused if it meant that, for just a second, we weren’t mad at each other, or rather, him mad at me.

The doctor made several more noises, all of which were indistinguishable to me or Rami as we simply just watched the screen, trying to decipher what all of these shapes and movements were that were being displayed on the monitor.

“Alright, everything looks great! Both babies seem to be-”

“Wait..what?”

The doctor obtained a giddy look on her face as she looked back and forth between me and Rami.

“Are twins common in either of your family histories?”

I can imagine my face was screwed with confusion as I shook my head, “No..not in mine.”

Me eyes dragged over to Rami as he stood with wide open eyes and a motionless body.

“Okay..and you? You’re the father I presume?”

“I certainly hope so, but who knows”, Rami scoffed, sending you a stern, cold look; the polar opposite of what he was doing just minutes ago as you both soothed each others nerves, or at least attempted to.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous Rami.”

“Ridiculous? I’m the one being ridiculous?”

“You’re being an ass is what you’re-”

“Alright, alright, Everyone calm down”, the doctor intervened as her once happy expression shifted to one of concern.

“Now, back to my question. Do twins run in the fathers family?”

Rami remained silent, clearly still playing the childish card even though deep down he had to know that he was the father of this child. Surely he didn’t think I was that low of a person to go on and get pregnant with another mans child mere weeks after we had stop having sexual contact. 

The air was silent and so terribly awkward and if he wasn’t going to speak then I sure as hell would for him.

“No the-”

“Yes.”

My neck snapped so quickly over in Rami’s direction, I could’ve sworn i’d feel tension in it within the next hour.

“Yes, you do have twins in your family?”, the doctor questioned.

Rami nodded his head, “I have a twin brother.”

Stupidity. I was fucking stupid. How had I not put two and two together when I met Rami’s brother that they were twins. Sure, siblings can look alike without being twins, but identical?

“Well..you’re only 8 weeks pregnant right now..and it’s still a little too early to be sure..”

“Spit it out already.”

Rami squeezed my hand tightly this time, making me look his way as his expression silently begged me to chill the fuck out.

“It looks like you are pregnant with twins.”

-

An hour had nearly passed as me and Rami sat in this little coffee shop, about a block from the clinic, just sitting in silence. Rami had suggested we go here to talk and yet zero words left his or my mouth, but I think we were both in too much shock.

Shock that we weren’t just having a child, but children, and, i’m sure, he was in shock that I hadn’t managed to tell him right away, which I took full responsibility for and would surely scold myself for the rest of my life for going about this the way that I did, but you have to hear me out.

I was fully prepped and ready to tell Rami all of this last night and then he goes and asks me out, not that i’m shifting the blame to him whatsoever, this was fully my wrong doing, but wouldn’t you be in a state of bliss and happiness should your crush ask you to be theirs? Sure, that is a juvenile example, but still, the feelings were the same as being in a high school romance and I was fully distracted by this intense joy that had been suddenly brought on to me.

Of course, i’m sure you’re arguing that I could’ve told him right after I got that dreaded phone call which told me I was pregnant, but we weren’t exactly speaking then and I was fully prepare, at that time, to take care of the child myself or to not have the child at all..but then things changed and we got back to who we both were together and now..now that’s gone. So quickly it came and went and I should have treasured it more at the time.

But, back to the coffee shop full of freelancers and coffee connoisseur’s who were busied away…and Rami. I kept stealing subtle, or at least I hoped they were subtle, glances at him, attempting to rack his brain a bit, but he was so numb. He didn’t look sad or mad or anything in between, just so numbed to everything that happened today, but I would be too had I found all of this out in a mere matter of a few hours.

In an attempt to gain some sort of response from him, I reached my hand out to his, Rami’s eyes immediately looking towards me the second I moved my hand in his direction. I was afraid he would pull away or tell me not to touch him, although I would’ve obeyed him, I wanted nothing more than to feel his warm skin on mine. However, his hand remained laid on the table as I rested my palm on top of his. His gaze went right back to his coffee, staring into the white ceramic cup that was empty and had been empty for the past half and hour.

“Can you talk to me please?” Rami still didn’t move, in fact, i’m not sure he was even breathing, that’s how still he was. The only thing letting my know he was alive and semi well was the flutter of his eyelashes as he blinked.

“Rami.”

“What?” His voice used to be so soothing to me and felt like a shelter that I could unwind and kick off my shoes; get ultimately comfortable with, but now he was so distant, more so then before and the pain was creeping up on me so fast; I needed to get out of here.

My chair scooted out from the table with a harsh sound as I quickly made a bee line for the door, maybe some fresh air would do me well..or maybe I could just run away.

Wouldn’t that be lovely? Running away from your problems and having them not actually come back to bite you in the ass? If only that were a rational thought, but with these children growing inside of me, that was something I couldn’t bare to forget, nor would I ever want to. Seeing those small orbs on the screen, those teeny tiny little children that were mine and his, I already fell in love with them and who they would be and what they would look like and what silly habits they would pick up from me and how they would have just as bad of dance moves as their father.

“Y/N.” Rami called to me as I rested against the outside wall of the cafe with surprised tears down pouring from my eyes. All I could bare to do was look at him and immediately he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug; this is exactly what I loved about him.

Amongst several other qualities he brought to the table, his overwhelming nurturing character was one that everyone should have in their lives and I hope they are able to experience someone wrapping their arms around you and enveloping you in care and love and comfort that was in its truest form.

Freely, I sobbed ,and even heard a few sniffles on Rami’s end, as we rocked back and forth to an invisible rhythm, letting everything out. Never mind that we were in pubic and could have looked like complete crazy heads, because we didn’t have a care in the world right now except for us and our lives and our children.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Just a reminder, I will be writing a Prologue to this series as well, which will highlight how Rami & Reader came into this funky FWB situation. Hope you enjoy this little ending to the series & thanks for reading xx

“I know it isn’t your weekend to have them, but I have a raging migraine right now and-”

“You don’t need to explain Y/N, i’m on my way.”

He was so understanding, but then again when wasn’t he? Always compassionate and thoughtful and attempting to see the best in everyone – including in me. He always, always, always tried to see me out for the better, even when I didn’t deserve it and for that, I am truly grateful. Even more importantly, I am elated that he looked past my faults and past mistakes and decided to keep a healthy relationship with the mother of his children. 

Although we broke up shortly after receiving news of the twins, we made it work. He was there every step of the way through out my pregnancy and was the best father that I could have asked for. Take now for instance, it is my time to have the twins and here he was, without hesitation, rushing over to watch them so I could have a mere moment to rest and gather myself while this massive migraine decided to rain down on me out of nowhere.

I missed him, but then again I did very often..and when I say I miss him I don’t a simple, ‘oh i haven’t seen you in awhile’, type of feeling, I mean I missed him as in when he was mine. Whenever he’d come by to pick up the twins, I always made sure I looked my best; applying makeup, doing my hair, getting on a cute, yet appropriate outfit to wear while lounging around the house. Making an effort for him was the least I could do and, although I know he had his share of partners since we had parted ways romantically, I still held on to him and that tiny idea that we would find each other.

Embarrassingly thinking about the ‘what if’ for our future, way too often, but it was something I couldn’t help. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but in present time it is clear to see that I loved him way back then and although things got fuzzy, mainly me making said things fuzzy, we still always made it work somehow. He dropped out of a movie so I could take on an acting role, and me doing vice versus for him as well and somehow, everything was working for us right now.

Even now, the harsh screams of our two year old’s running a muck through out the condo was something that I was usually just fine with, but today my head was throbbing and begging to be left in a dark room with utter silence and, when you have a boy and a girl, both in the toddler age group, then silence and darkness are nowhere to be found.

I decided on a seated position on my living room floor as the twins walked back and forth, showing me their prized animal toys as I quizzed them on the names and sounds that the animals made. Thankfully, Rami lived a short distance away and I heard his pounding feet coming down the hall in less than 15 minutes while the kids were doing their best ‘moo’ and ‘oink’ sounds.

As the door opened, our children greeted Rami with squeals as their, newly accustomed to running, legs pounded over to him and hugged either of his calves – a sight that always made my heart soar. Not to mention it was summertime, making Rami’s skin much darker and his hair pitch black as a grey fitted t shirt hugged his torso so well, a little too well for his ex girlfriend and ‘baby mama’ to handle. Regardless, he looked good, very, very good.

This instantly made me size myself up. In the thick of my pain, I hadn’t even remembered to put at least some sort of effort into my appearance..but hey, at least I had a matching short and shirt pajama combo on..that was good for something right? Meanwhile, he was dressed like a casual Greek god with a leather jacket slung lightly over one of his shoulders as he swooped up our two children in his arms as they both hugged him tightly and repeated ‘daddy’ to him as a way of showing their admiration and excitement to be seeing him.

For the first couple minutes he paid sole attention to our children, something I adored watching, as he asked them how they were, what they had been up to, and returning the conversation to his day and how much he missed them. However, they would eventually want to be set down on the floor, no doubt, so they could run around in a destructive prance and then would Rami turn his attention to me and this time was no different.

“You look tired”, Rami said as he eyed up my form, probably wondering how on earth he could’ve let a walking disaster, much like myself, see him naked once before.

 

“Ya know, saying ‘you look tired’ to someone is just a nice way of saying ‘you look terrible’.”

“Hey”, he threw his hands up defensively, “I never said that. You look fine for someone who has a migraine, not to mention someone whose popped out two kids.”

I didn’t reply to his attempt at swooning me, but rather just sent him a smirk as I turned around and walked towards my kitchen. Thankfully, this gave me plenty of time to wipe the redness from my blushed cheeks.

He always did this. This sort of flirty banter, but nothing ever came of it, no matter how much I wanted it to. Even though our time as a labeled relationship was short, make that 24 hours kind of short, I still devoured and treasured every minute that I could of it and still longed for the time I would potentially be able to call him mine again. Although, that was much too far fetched; i knew that much was true.

I heard Rami follow behind me as two pairs of feet came thumping directly behind him, not to mention a few giggles accompanied with the little symphony our toddlers were creating. Our little girl ran directly into my shin, gazing up at me as she lifted both of her arms high up in the air.

“Up?”, I questioned her as she nodded her small bed of brown curls with a smile while I shuffled the toddler into my arms and let her rest against my chest.

I found myself gazing at her little eyelashes and then her face, taking in the beauty that was this child that me and Rami created. She was very much the perfect mix of the both of us. She had lightly tanned skin, her fathers hair, and my eyes paired with his facial bone structure, even though, it was admittedly hard to see underneath those chubby cheeks of hers, but I saw them. I had studied his face for so long that I knew him when I saw him and I saw him a lot in her. Even when it came to her personality. She was much more calm then her brother and always seemed to be listening to thinking about something. 

In fact, although she was a toddler and had a short attention span, she always made sure to hold eye contact with me as I talked with her and seemed like she was genuinely listening and attempting to process things as she waited for me to end my conversation or phrase. 

Now her brother, on the other hand, though he was the spitting image of Rami, was very hyper and creative; always attempting to gain attention from wherever he went, which was entertaining to say the least. Whether it be waving to everyone he saw at the grocery store, or stopping to do a little bop (his version of dancing) when any upbeat music came on, he was an angel and him and his sister seemed to balance each other out perfectly.

“Mama?”

I peered over and glanced at my son who was now sitting on top of Rami’s shoulders as he reached out for me to hold him.

“Sounds like someone wants mom hmm?”, I smiled at Rami smugly, much enjoying the natural tight bond I had with the children I once carried in my womb.

“You know dad exists to? Dad’s not that bad.”

I laughed as our son practically forced his way off of Rami’s shoulders as I shifted my body so I could hold both of them in my arms. I began bouncing each of them, sending giggles vibrating off of their tongues as I hummed a nursery rhyme I knew they both loved.

“I’m so lucky.” I looked up to see Rami smiling affectionately at the three of us.

He always seemed to happy now a days, which was great to see despite him working many hours and showing up looking as if he just got done with work and had had zero sleep (which was a very real possibility). Never did he refuse to see his children when it was his asserted time to, nor did he ever say no in times like these when I wasn’t feeling my best and needed some time to myself. I admired that about him a lot. I admired a lot about him though.

“We are so lucky”, I smiled at him, emphasizing the ‘we’ part.

“Very true. Thanks for making them with me.”

I bit my lip to contain the grin that was daring to spread all the way to my cheeks as I focused my gaze on the floor, avoiding eye contact with him at all cost. Because, if i didn’t think of having sex with him enough while I was alone, I surely didn’t want to think of it when he was standing right next to me.

“Alright, what do you say we got to the park and let mom rest a bit!”

Without hesitation, the twins wiggled their way out of my arms, nearly making me drop their short bodies as they ran around, chanting about the park in the process.

“Thank you, again, for doing this so last minute”, I thanked him.

“It’s the least I can do. Plus, spending time with our little destructive twins isn’t all that bad.”

We both shared laughs as we kept our eyes fixed on one another for a little too long, something we would do often whenever we had to see each other. To most, it could seem like we were just taking in the others expression, but to us, at least on my end, I was replaying the past. Our past that was filled with so much good and a whole lot of complicated, but eventually it all seemed to work and fit together in this terribly awkward puzzle of a family we have going on here. Of course, if I had it my way I would’ve loved to be a proper family, and when I saw proper family I refer to mom and dad at least being in a romantic relationship with each other, but I understood his decision to not want to be in a relationship with me after finding out I was pregnant.

He couldn’t trust me and I didn’t blame him a bit for that. His reasoning was severely valid and, to this day, I still mourned what could have been had I told him right then and there despite whatever terms we were on at that time, but there was no going back, no changing of the past that I could do to fix it and that was fine; I accepted that a long time ago. However, it didn’t rid me of my utter adoration for him and deep longing to be his. I don’t think anything could ever do that.

We both finally broke our gaze off one another as our daughter came into view while she sat directly at the foot of her father while her tiny hand tugged on his dark jeans.

“Park?”, she said so softly and patiently as her small smile covered her face.

“Yes baby girl, park”, he said as he swooped her up in his arms and placed a kiss to her forehead. Immediately, she giggled and rested her head on his shoulder and I felt my heart sing just at the sight of the two of them. 

“Do you need anything else before I go lay down?”

Rami shook his head as he slung the diaper bag over his shoulder while still holding our daughter in the other arm.

“Go lay down babe.”

Babe. God, the fact that he still called me that always made me swoon even though it had been a couple years now that he’d been calling me that…it still did so much to me and I think that spoke for my feelings perfectly.

I nodded, but as I walked past Rami to go down the hallway, I felt a strong hand playfully smack against my ass.

Although Rami was always flirty with me, we had never had physical contact quite like that. In fact nothing more than a friendly kiss on the cheek and hug were all we had shared..but his touch was leaving me feeling so needy right now and i wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Our little girl broke out in a fit of giggles as I turned around and glared at Rami, all the while he had a playful smirk on his lips as he caressed his daughters back.

“What?”

“Mhmm”, I hummed as I hovered in the doorway of my bedroom.

“Didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to admire how hot the mother of my children was”, and with that, Rami urged our little boy to hold his hand as all three of them made a bee line for the front door.

“Hope you feel better”, Rami said just before he closed the door behind him leaving me in silence.

God, I hate how he made me feel even to this fucking day and I hate that I fell onto my bed and just laid their with my eyes glued to the ceiling as I pictured how our life would be together. I was being such a high school girl with a massive crush on the most popular jock and it was god awful because we had already been down this road and it was clear that there wasn’t another fork or side street I could take for us to join each other once again.

I hated that I secretly dreaded and craved the times he would come pick the kids up or anytime we both had to be at a family function together because I knew this feeling would flutter back in, as if my heart was its resting grounds, and make me feel this heart wrenching pain and constant reminder that I fucked up. I wonder if he felt it too.

I wonder if he ever did the very thing I’m doing now, picturing our lives together had everything not taken such a wild route, but I would be so lucky for him to even fathom the thought. I knew he was living life up as a successful Hollywood bachelor – I wasn’t oblivious to tabloid photos and I was still involved in the acting scene so word got around about who was kissing and sleeping with whom. The fucking hilarious thing is that it always hurt. The sting never faded, just kept bubbling and bubbling until I would have to slam my computer shut or excuse myself from the conversation regarding the father of my children and, more privately, the love of my life.

Eventually I had exhausted myself and my thoughts as I felt my eyelids grow heavy. Wincing a little, I pressed my finger to my temple as I reached for the medicine on my bed side table and popped a pill into my mouth while gulping down a drink of water. My head hit the pillow and, in an instant, I was out as my body attempted to cooperate with me, or rather, comply with the drugs I just fed it.

-

You know those moments when you fall asleep and wake up with no knowledge of falling asleep? This was one of those fuzzy moments as I felt myself start to wake up as I heard loud screeches and shrills from somewhere in my home. Admittedly, I was a bit scared at first, until I heard Rami’s deep voice soothing the children from, what I assume to be, a tantrum that ensued. My hand slipped out of my warm blanket to grab at my phone, that i’d placed on the charger just before slipping into a deep sleep, as my eyes focused on the numbers listed on my lock screen. 

11:45 pm usually signaled nap time for the two bundles of joy – this must be the cause of all the loud voices which, i’m sure, Rami was trying to prevent so that I could rest comfortably, but with two kids, it’s hard to get any sort of volume control over them, I knew that all too well.

Suddenly, it went quiet just before I heard a door shut. Rami was hopefully getting the twins settled and calmed so they could take their naps and then he’d be free to go. I hated when he left. Every time, I wanted to reach my hand out and tug on his arm and beg him to stay and just hang out with me, sort of like old times. Maybe we could watch a movie? Maybe we could make some food together and attempt to chat over the various sounds of things being cooked over a stove? On more simpler times, maybe we could just make out?

My bedroom door was suddenly cracked, letting the hallway light peek through as I saw a tuft of dark hair and glimmer of tan skin become illuminated. I barely moved, but it was enough for Rami to notice that I wasn’t asleep.

“Did you rest at all”

“I did yeah. Just woke up actually.”

Rami nodded as he left the door slightly open and came to sit on the edge of my bed.

“Twins are sleeping.”

“Thank you”, I smiled at him genuinely as he smiled back at me before dropping eye contact and fixing his gaze onto the shapes and textures of my duvet.

It was like this for a couple minutes – unbearable and awkward silence was making my breath quicken as I fiddled with my fingers set on top of my duvet.

“Did you want something?”

Rami jerked his head up, shaking it slightly, as he looked at me with a look i hadn’t seen in awhile. I almost couldn’t remember what this look was for..until he spoke.

“I miss you.”

I was speechless as I just stared, something I was all too well at doing.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you while we didn’t have any interruptions. You know, talk and catch up; we don’t get to do that anymore.”

“You’re right we don’t..”, I nodded agreeingly, “we definitely don’t.”

“So..”

“Soo”, I reiterated.

“Tell me what you’re up to..any new roles you’re excited for?”

I shook my head. Although I loved acting and saw it as my purpose in life, right now my purpose was my children, so I hadn’t been very antsy to go after any new roles; only taking ones that were offered to me and seemed to fit into my busy schedule.

“Is this because of the twins?”

You shrugged, “Being a mom is important to me and I don’t want anyone else raising my kids like a nanny or some bull shit.”

“Yeah, but I thought we promised each other that we would accommodate. I don’t want it to just be me taking roles, if that means you can’t.”

“We’ve promised each other lots of things Rami.”

I knew I shouldn’t have said it. The second the words left my mouth I coward and slumped my body as instant regret smothered me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Rami didn’t say anything, which made me look back up to find him looking at me with a type of hurt in his eyes as he ever so slightly scooted closer to the middle of my bed.

“You know that I wish things were different right? This isn’t my ideal situation, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, I know..believe me, I know. It’s not mine either.”

“It’s just..you know I can’t trust you.”

Loudly, I huffed with tears threatening to leave my pupils. “Its been two years Rami.”

“That doesn’t change what you did Y/N!” His voice was loud and angry as I shushed him and encouraged him to fully shut the door.

He shut the door, a little too loudly for my liking as I shot him daggers with my eyes. “You’re going to wake them up.”

His facial expression immediately softened as he took his seat on the bed again as my eyes took in every movement he made while he brushed a hand through his thick dark hair and let out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Just–”, I stopped the words that were attempting to betray my conscious that was currently screaming at me to just be honest and open with him.

“Say it. Say what you’re thinking.”

“No Rami It-”

“Fucking say it.”, although, his harsh language would make anyone think he was angry, his soft tone and facial expression were mirror images of a puppy with the brightest and biggest brown eyes, dying for you to take them home. Except, Rami was dying for me to be open and honest – simple, yet a task in my eyes.

Suddenly, Rami scooted even closer on the bed until his crossed legs were parallel to mine that were covered by the duvet and as Rami placed his palms on the tops of my covered thighs, we resembled that one scene from the beloved 80’s movie Sixteen Candles. You know, the one where Samantha Baker and Jake Ryan finally are able to bask in their puppy love, at the very end of the film, as they sit on top of a dining room table with the room illuminated only by candles. The film encaptures the perfect, yet, intangible ending because love is never ever that easy. I wish it was, I truly do, but what me and Rami have isn’t puppy love and, sadly, me and Rami weren’t just two teenage misfits trying to find our place in the world and loving each other in the process. No, we were grown adults with children, that we created together, paired with a bittersweet past to match our even more bitter attitudes towards where we both stood with each other.

“Talk to me”, Rami said as he flipped his hands over, palms facing up and awaiting for my own hands to fall into place with his and I let them do just that.

Rami squeezed my hands, encouraging me as I nodded. “I just don’t get why you won’t give me another chance… No, give us another chance because this isn’t even about just me anymore Rami, clearly you are feeling this to-”

“What are you feeling?”

I shouldn’t have assumed i guess. He could very well just be trying to keep a good and open relationship with the women who mothered his children, but somehow I didn’t think that was true. This time I was confident he was feeling what I was feeling and I wasn't’ risking passing it up.

“I feel…I feel like we both want to be together but…but we are fighting each other on it. Which is crazy! Isn’t it crazy? We both want the same things and yet we are too scared to say anyt-”

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me or that ‘this couldn’t possibly be happening’ feeling, but it was happening. His lips quickly punctured my rant, that I had been rehearsing for months, as his hand came up to grasp the back of my neck to deepen the long, passionate kiss we were tangled up in. His lips, my god his lips; they were soft and oh so familiar as we both synced our movements as the hot smooches persisted.

I wasn’t even think, I was purely doing what felt right and natural as I gripped the collar of his t-shirt and pulled him closer to me, making him fall forwards, knocking me flat on my back and taking him right down with me, but never did our lips pull apart. Even when we laughed and nibbled on each others bottom lip, we never disconnected because we wanted nothing but to be touching and indulging in the others presence.

Rami’s hands soon found the bottom of my pajama top as he, without hesitation or second guess, pulled the fabric up and over my head. His mouth jumped onto my bare chest as his lips enclosed around my nipple, sucking and biting while his other hand massaged my other breast.

Our breaths were hot and loud as my hands fumbled with his shirt, making him pull his face away from my chest, but only long enough so I could leave his upper half naked. My eyes devoured him and my hands took advantage of this time as they smoothed up from his happy trail, to his stomach, were I felt his muscles tense up below me, until they left to rest on his chest.

Everything was fast and needy and exactly how I wanted it right now because I too was needing him and, judging by the growing bulge in his pants, he was needing me just as much.

My hands smoothed down and over his crotch, feeling the material covering his erection as I kneaded him, making Rami moan while he grinded his hand against my palm.

“You have no idea how often I’ve thought about doing this to you”, Rami’s breathy and growl-like words dug straight into my ear as he took a small bite into my earlobe while I fumbled with getting the zipper and button on his jeans to cooperate with my efforts to get rid of them.

“Mmm, tell me”, Rami pulled away from me, looking slightly confused as I pushed his jeans down his hips.

“Tell me how often you think about this.”

Rami seemed to grow a bit bashful at my request as he willingly kicked the rest of the denim from his legs, leaving him nearly nude in front of me as I got several layers deep in a deadly sin just eyeing him and appreciating that right now he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him; whether that be purely sexual or romantic, I didn’t give a single fuck, because we were both on the same page at this moment.

Instead of answering my question, he returned his mouth to my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses to the tight skin while one of his hands slipped underneath my shorts and went straight to the top of my underwear. His finger tips danced straight down in between my legs as one of his fingers glided along my covered fold, sending my back arching into his touch.

“Don’t tease. I’ve waited long enough, haven’t I?”, I whimpered.

Rami’s smile could be felt against my neck just before he rearranged his body so that he was resting between my legs with his knee’s holding him up as his hands found the tops of my shorts and panties and dragged both of them down my thighs as I assisted him by bending my knees, allowing him to easily get rid of the rest of my clothing.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yeah, cause i’m a little more focused on other things right now like the naked girl laying under me.”

He attempted to distract me by pulling down the remainder of his clothing; discarding the light grey briefs and pushing them down his thighs with the help of his foot as he rested both of his hands on either side of my head. Sure, the distraction worked for a while as I reached my hand between us and began stroking his hard member, but I quickly recalled my question once he closed his eyes and began moving his hips so he was thrusting into my hand.

“You still didn’t answer my questions.”

Rami’s eyes peaked open as breathy moans still kept panting off of his tongue as he pressed his forehead against mine.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because..”, my hand moved the tip of his shaft against my folds, letting him feel how wet he had gotten me with the minimal touching we had already done. “Do I need a reason?”

“God you’re so wet.”

“Hmm?”, Rami’s voice was so soft and deep that you almost wouldn’t have heard his filthy words, but I heard them. I simply just wanted to hear him utter them louder.

Instead, he groaned, swatting my hand off of his erect cock as he gripped his shaft and pressed his tip to my entrance, making me involuntarily arch my back into him, causing him to enter me ever so slightly.

We were both moaning messes as Rami looked at me, silently asking if he could continue.

“You know I want it, jus-”

Before I could finish my thought, he was fully entering me at a slow pace as he winced above me, keeping his teeth latched tightly onto his bottom lip.

“Fuck.”

“I second that ‘fuck”, I whined as Rami tried his best not to laugh, but failed miserably.

“I hate you so much sometimes.”

I frowned, taking his lighthearted words much too literal for what they were because it was exactly what I had thought for the past couple years. I thought he hated me and was just putting on a happy show for our kids to see so they wouldn’t grow up knowing that there parents royally fucked up, or rather their mother royally fucked up any chance they had at loving each other.

“Hey, i’m joking. You know that, right?”, Rami let his thumb brush against the peak of my cheek bone, just below my eye, as he look at me intently.

I nodded, keeping my eyes out of the line of direct contact as I fumbled with the hairs on the back of his neck; twirling them around my finger.

“Look at me.”

I obeyed and looked at his sincere eyes as he continued stroking my cheek, just before he pressed a kiss to my lips.

God, this had to have been the best kiss i’d ever had the pleasure of indulging in. Not only because it was hot and heavy, but it was sincere and like a full glass of water on a hot summer day in Texas. It was filling me up, physically and emotionally, and the dripping emotions it carried through his lips to mine were like tiny endorphins making me smile again – making me love him again and again.

“I want you”, I mumbled against his lips, both meaning his heart and soul and everything he had to offer as well as his body moving inside of me.

He definitely understood part of what I was saying as he moved his hips so that his cock moved completely out of me, before he roughly slammed back inside of me, making me latch my hands onto his biceps with a death grip.

“You still haven’t answered my-”

“Are you fucking kidding me”, Rami said breathlessly as he smiled down at me, not fully believing that I was so hung up on a question so petty in his mind.

“Did you think about it when you were kissing other girls?”, Rami had now gotten a slow, but steady thrusting rhythm as he filled me up – feeling every inch of pleasure I had to offer him as he nodded his head.

“Yes, I–fuck–I always thought of you.” His words were spaced out, interrupted, and breathy, but I could still make out entirely what he meant.

“Even whe–shit–when you were fucking them.”

“Especially…”, gradually, his thrusts sped up until he was at an even, medium pace; just enough so I could really, really feel his warmth and every twitch of pleasure,”…especially when I was fucking them.”

My eyes rolled to the back of my head, both from pleasure as well as from the erotic words spewed from his mouth. Rami’s eyes, however, were wide open, watching my every reaction as they grew grey, a much darker shade then they normally were, as his one arm held himself up, while the other picked up my thigh, bending it and pressing it towards my chest so I could feel him deep – so fucking deep.

“Ever–every time I buried myself deep inside someone..it was you. All I really wanted was you.”

I hadn’t noticed, but a single tear had slid down from my eye, making Rami’s eyes grow puppy dog like as he swiped the tear away. His thrusts slowed down a bit, most likely due to his attention being geared toward me and why I was crying, but it still felt so good. Just to be with him and near him felt so incredibly good and right.

“Anyone I dated, anyone I kissed; it was to find someone like you and no one”, his lips trembled slightly as they hovered over mine, “no one could touch you. Its always been you baby.”

I simply nodded, feeling much too overwhelmed with sexual pleasure and emotional contentment to muster up any words as I closed the gap between our lips; pressing them together in a hard kiss, hoping that did the trick in delivering the words that I couldn’t seem to find right now.

From then on, our lips never disconnected. Not even after we both were desperate, moaning messes, not even when I reached my high with a high pitched moan, and especially not when Rami reached his climax with a few sputtered thrusts and throaty groans. We never broke apart, not even to catch our breath as we clung to each other while coming down from the highs due to our orgasms; we merely just breathed in one another, mixing salty tears and saliva with one another as we relished in this feeling and this action that we were both so terribly involved in.

The only noise that caused us to move apart was the sound of one of the twins crying. Without hesitation, me and Rami pulled apart to stare at the baby monitor set on my side table as we both looked at the infant that was awake much too early from their nap.

“I’ll go check on her”, Rami said as he wiggled his sweaty, naked body off of mine.

“No, i can go. You did enough.”

“How about we both go?” I nodded with a smile as I managed to get my equally sweaty and sore body up to a sitting position as I tugged my pajama top and panties back on, but skipping the shorts.

Rami had grabbed his briefs and tugged them back on, but leaving all of his other clothing scattered on my floor where we had thrown them in the heat of the moment. I smiled, thinking back to how familiar this was, how carefree we both were before our babies and before the pregnancy and before all the complications had ensued. Rather, here we were, half clothed and comfortable as we pranced around my home, down the wood floored hallway as we shuffled, with quiet feet, to the door of the nursery.

Rami gently, turned the handle, attempting not to disturb the other twin who was sleeping soundly, as he scooted towards our little girl who was red cheeked and a crying mess. He scooped her up in his arms gently and pulled her out of the nursery, closing the door behind him, and cooing in her ear to try and soothe her.

“Shh, honey shh. It’s okay, daddy’s got you.”

Her hicupped cries began to settle as he rocked her gently back and forth in his arms and I just gazed on, acknowledging that right now was Rami’s moment to be the dad that I knew he was amazing at. So, I took my role as a smiling mother in the background, grinning from ear to ear as I watched our little girl fall back asleep as her sniffles began to quiet.

“Should I put her back in bed?”, Rami whispered.

I shook my head, “She can sleep with us in our bed.”

“Our bed, huh?”, Rami waved a cocky eyebrow as he took note of my mistake – calling my bed our bed, no matter how small, was still vastly incorrect…for now at least, but I could feel things were changing. Changing for the better.

“You know what I-”, Rami interrupted me as he waved his hand, well, to the best one could while holding a sleeping soundly two year old.

Silently, we both walked back to my bedroom as Rami plopped onto the bed gently, placing our little girl next to him and me curling up under my duvet right next to her so that she was sandwiched between the two of us.

We both curled up on our sides, facing one another as we smiled at each other, either one of our hands occasionally brushing against our daughters sleeping body, until we both reached out for her at the same time, but instead Rami took a hold of my hand in his, gently holding it against his palm.

I looked up towards him to see a grin plastered on his face, taking note of the single little curl that was glued to his forehead from the prior passionate “activities” we had indulged in. I took on a grin to match his as his thumb began playing with the skin near my knuckles as we both just relished in this moment; not really knowing what it meant or what was happening, but one thing we both knew was that we were moving in a direction that felt right and suddenly, I was happy things didn’t work out a couple years ago, because now I was going to get to re introduce myself to this Rami. This new man that stood before as a loving human being and even more loving father.

I loved him like this and now, I knew for sure that, he loved me to.


End file.
